Listening : Faceless [ Godsmack ]
Got my digital cam. My first image is... Hellsing I made this.. to go on my wall. I love cutting, to be honest. The feel of the sharp blade gliding over the paper, I mean you can tell if the blade wasn't sharp enough. I think that's why I love the process so much, I get to cut the contact paper which is pretty thin, and try not to go too deep into the matboard cause I'll be peeling off the top layer of the board out otherwise. I enjoy it, and it looks crisp and clean when it is done. Quite the opposite of my drawing that usually involve lots of sketch lines and stuff.. I mean, it looks kinda messy. I think it's the fact that I don't need to be committed to 1 single line helps. Anyway, I'll be taking lots of pic I guess, just not of me.
June 09, 2003
Listening : Understanding [ Evanescence ]
Ok, I'm playing catch-up with the writing and stories, ya know. What else for me to do but this. I write too.. so.. Slayers' Dreams is where I keep this one. Just a shortie, kinda sweet.. ( a bit too sweet, but you know...) I have enough time for the depressing one later and also working on Ivanova/Talia uber one, if anyone is wondering.
Oh yeah a plug for Elphie. Like the new layout, cute!!
tell me you'll live through this and I will die for you.'
Ok, I'm playing catch-up with the writing and stories, ya know. What else for me to do but this. I write too.. so.. Slayers' Dreams is where I keep this one. Just a shortie, kinda sweet.. ( a bit too sweet, but you know...) I have enough time for the depressing one later and also working on Ivanova/Talia uber one, if anyone is wondering.
Oh yeah a plug for Elphie. Like the new layout, cute!!
tell me you'll live through this and I will die for you.'
June 08, 2003
I need to know if you were real
'cause I've been known to get it wrong
When the memory comes
I'll say I'm always in the dark
You got me now
I want to give you back
somewhere out of here
I want to give you
I want to give you back
I can't remember how it went
You looked like everything I wanted
And as you came along
slowly everything began to change
I got you now
That's enough
just talking about it
I don't mind
I don't mind, no I
laugh enough
just dreaming about it
I need to know if you were real
I'd hate to think that I'd been fooled again
And as the vision fades
I'll say I was blinded by your eyes
I felt them burn
Somewhere out of here
You gotta get on out of here
Get on out of here
I finally finished that Hellsing thing, took this long only because I didn't wanna have to cut a small piece out of my matboard when I knew that I have some statch somewhere, watch in a day or two I'll find 10 pieces of 8"x8" matboard. That's just annoying. Anyway.. sunday, not doing anything. I'll just lay back and play game.
'cause I've been known to get it wrong
When the memory comes
I'll say I'm always in the dark
You got me now
I want to give you back
somewhere out of here
I want to give you
I want to give you back
I can't remember how it went
You looked like everything I wanted
And as you came along
slowly everything began to change
I got you now
That's enough
just talking about it
I don't mind
I don't mind, no I
laugh enough
just dreaming about it
I need to know if you were real
I'd hate to think that I'd been fooled again
And as the vision fades
I'll say I was blinded by your eyes
I felt them burn
Somewhere out of here
You gotta get on out of here
Get on out of here
I finally finished that Hellsing thing, took this long only because I didn't wanna have to cut a small piece out of my matboard when I knew that I have some statch somewhere, watch in a day or two I'll find 10 pieces of 8"x8" matboard. That's just annoying. Anyway.. sunday, not doing anything. I'll just lay back and play game.
June 06, 2003
My thumb kinda hurt now. Don't know how that happen, anyway, I painted the rest of the shed.. now only 1 side will need to be put on a second coat. I think I wear it more than I put it on, but hey! I think I'm getting the digital cam this weekend. I'll see the sale.. LOL.. not that it'll make any diffrent if I want it now I'll get it now. I've been putting that off cause someone said she gonna get me one and she promised me that she did, but you know something, I don't think she ever did. Just one more lie to top it all off. Anyway, since that didn't happen. I'm getting one myself. I'll just have to remember to never ask anyone for anything. Never get anything from anyone anyway. (too many any???) Ok, now I better figure out how to set up the damn guestbook, been putting it off for far too long.. and yeah who said anything about me being good at this stuff??? Nope, not me..
June 05, 2003
Listening : Robin [ WHRobin OSS ]
I'm working on a 32"x24" 12 pieces Hellsing illustration. It's a cut out contact paper, figure for the lack of better things to do (well, I could write.. but I couldn't concentrate.. ) And I wanna do something for an empty wall of my room. So there.. It is an image of Integra Wingate Hellsing and Seras Victoria. I got the first 5 done. Ran into a tiny bit of problem, but I worked that out. I can't wait to get Sarah Michelle one back. Wish Tudor would just hurry it up.
I'm working on a 32"x24" 12 pieces Hellsing illustration. It's a cut out contact paper, figure for the lack of better things to do (well, I could write.. but I couldn't concentrate.. ) And I wanna do something for an empty wall of my room. So there.. It is an image of Integra Wingate Hellsing and Seras Victoria. I got the first 5 done. Ran into a tiny bit of problem, but I worked that out. I can't wait to get Sarah Michelle one back. Wish Tudor would just hurry it up.
June 04, 2003
I'd give anything to give myself to you
Can you forget the words that you thought you knew
If you want me,
Come and find me
Nothing's stopping you so please release me
I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
Have you left to make me feel anymore
Theres only you and everyday I need more
If you want me
Come and find me
I'll do anythng you say just tell me
Anything for you
All without your hurt inside
Will ever never die
I'll be, everything you need
[ Evanescence | Anything For You ]
Can you forget the words that you thought you knew
If you want me,
Come and find me
Nothing's stopping you so please release me
I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
Have you left to make me feel anymore
Theres only you and everyday I need more
If you want me
Come and find me
I'll do anythng you say just tell me
Anything for you
All without your hurt inside
Will ever never die
I'll be, everything you need
[ Evanescence | Anything For You ]
June 03, 2003
June 02, 2003
June 01, 2003
Listening : Half-Pain [ Bana ]
Talked to my mom earlier tonight.. (not real early, but you know what I mean) and I really wanna go home. 7 years.. long enough I think and I have another one to go. God.. and people wonder why I fucking brood. I would call grandpa and talk to him except I wouldn't know what to talk to him about, beside I hate it when they start asking when I'll be going home. It's not like I don't want to, I do, I really do. But until I'm done with school, I'm not. I'm not dropping a little over $1000 to go home either.. besides I was told once by a friend that it's harder to leave the second time.. not on her, but her mom. And I can see that happened with mom and dad. I'd rather not have to drop that much money (which by the way, is theirs) and make them feel bad when I leave. I mean they won't say anything, but I hate seeing mom cry. Worst I hate leaving.
I'm getting Witch Hunter Robin on ebay. Heard good things about it, so I figure I'll give it a shot. Now I still need to pick up a few DVDs. Probably 1 at the time. I'm getting digital cam too, I think. Need one.. now that I found I have a hell of a time trying to get my stuff into portfolio and I hate to get the entire roll of film done before I can get that. Thus a lot of my stuff didn't get recorded that way.. At the moment I'm playing with the one my aunt lets me borrow.
'are you aware of what you make me feel, baby
right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real'
Talked to my mom earlier tonight.. (not real early, but you know what I mean) and I really wanna go home. 7 years.. long enough I think and I have another one to go. God.. and people wonder why I fucking brood. I would call grandpa and talk to him except I wouldn't know what to talk to him about, beside I hate it when they start asking when I'll be going home. It's not like I don't want to, I do, I really do. But until I'm done with school, I'm not. I'm not dropping a little over $1000 to go home either.. besides I was told once by a friend that it's harder to leave the second time.. not on her, but her mom. And I can see that happened with mom and dad. I'd rather not have to drop that much money (which by the way, is theirs) and make them feel bad when I leave. I mean they won't say anything, but I hate seeing mom cry. Worst I hate leaving.
I'm getting Witch Hunter Robin on ebay. Heard good things about it, so I figure I'll give it a shot. Now I still need to pick up a few DVDs. Probably 1 at the time. I'm getting digital cam too, I think. Need one.. now that I found I have a hell of a time trying to get my stuff into portfolio and I hate to get the entire roll of film done before I can get that. Thus a lot of my stuff didn't get recorded that way.. At the moment I'm playing with the one my aunt lets me borrow.
'are you aware of what you make me feel, baby
right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real'
May 29, 2003
Listening : Before The Dawn [ Evanescence ]
Elphie I'm sure they'll rerun those again.. I'd hoped that they would rerun the whole thing, ya know.. every ep before Graduation.. that didn't seem to be the case, however. Well, I guess I'll set up the time everyday and keep the one I like.. (that or I'll grit my teeth and just buy the DVD.. I still have so many to catch up on thought.. T_T)
I got Sukeban Deka back from Joe, he loved it, he thought it was a bit short, and I agreed. I still need to get the rest of X the series.. (I started a little late.. so now I only have 1, 2) Need to get Noir vol.3, Crying Freeman 2. So many to get so little money. LOL.
Piper glad you like the drawing. I should draw just for the sake of drawing more often. I'm looking around to see if I can find one of Eliza that I like enough to draw. I mean, I like all of them, but some are better to draw than others. Just me and my pickiness ^_^
Elphie I'm sure they'll rerun those again.. I'd hoped that they would rerun the whole thing, ya know.. every ep before Graduation.. that didn't seem to be the case, however. Well, I guess I'll set up the time everyday and keep the one I like.. (that or I'll grit my teeth and just buy the DVD.. I still have so many to catch up on thought.. T_T)
I got Sukeban Deka back from Joe, he loved it, he thought it was a bit short, and I agreed. I still need to get the rest of X the series.. (I started a little late.. so now I only have 1, 2) Need to get Noir vol.3, Crying Freeman 2. So many to get so little money. LOL.
Piper glad you like the drawing. I should draw just for the sake of drawing more often. I'm looking around to see if I can find one of Eliza that I like enough to draw. I mean, I like all of them, but some are better to draw than others. Just me and my pickiness ^_^
Meet me after dark again and I'll hold you
I am nothing more than to see you there
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
If only night can hold you where i can see you, my love
Then let me never ever wake again
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
somehow i know that we cant wake again from this dream
it's not real, but it's ours
Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
[ Evanescence | Before The Dawn ]
my day was all right up until someone decided that things needed to be dug up. And it's the same old thing. What I feel didn't matter then and doesn't matter now, not to her, never to her. So what if she hurts me, I should still stay right where I was and take it? I don't think so. Suddenly I'm the bestfriend, well, as soon as she got her real bestfriend back that is. No, not doing this anymore. Can't afford to pick myself up off the floor and put myself back together only to be broken down again. And they think I'm so depressed, there's reason to my depression. Fuck them, fuck her.
I am nothing more than to see you there
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
If only night can hold you where i can see you, my love
Then let me never ever wake again
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
somehow i know that we cant wake again from this dream
it's not real, but it's ours
Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
[ Evanescence | Before The Dawn ]
my day was all right up until someone decided that things needed to be dug up. And it's the same old thing. What I feel didn't matter then and doesn't matter now, not to her, never to her. So what if she hurts me, I should still stay right where I was and take it? I don't think so. Suddenly I'm the bestfriend, well, as soon as she got her real bestfriend back that is. No, not doing this anymore. Can't afford to pick myself up off the floor and put myself back together only to be broken down again. And they think I'm so depressed, there's reason to my depression. Fuck them, fuck her.
May 28, 2003
I taped Buffy rerun with Eliza as host.. ^_^
I got to talk to Renee today before karate, it's great to hear from her again, I don't remember the last time I talk to her so. It's nice to catch up a bit. She'll be moving back, maybe we can hang out sometimes. The class today was fine, I got 2 more bruises on my right arm.. it usually the right arm anyway, the arm you punch in with. That makes 7 bruises that I'm aware of. Sensei Al got 3 sectional staff in the dojo, my shoes are coming in tomorrow, though I won't get the white/gray with blue lining, I'll get the white with black lining, which is all right. At this point I don't care if I get the black, I just want the new shoes.. The old pair I kept falling off when I do crane stand, so it didn't help with Statue of the Crane form. Especially when I did the punch to the floor and have to hop back and turn at the same time.. I tend to fall on the punch, not on the hop. Anyway, new shoes.. I'm happy.
Did a drawing tonight.. of Sarah Michelle Gellar.. yes, yes, it is becoming an obsession.. well, SMG and ED that is. I did't com across any image of Eliza Dushku that I want to draw yet. I'll do one of her (or several) when I find a good image. ^_^
X: over and out for the night
I got to talk to Renee today before karate, it's great to hear from her again, I don't remember the last time I talk to her so. It's nice to catch up a bit. She'll be moving back, maybe we can hang out sometimes. The class today was fine, I got 2 more bruises on my right arm.. it usually the right arm anyway, the arm you punch in with. That makes 7 bruises that I'm aware of. Sensei Al got 3 sectional staff in the dojo, my shoes are coming in tomorrow, though I won't get the white/gray with blue lining, I'll get the white with black lining, which is all right. At this point I don't care if I get the black, I just want the new shoes.. The old pair I kept falling off when I do crane stand, so it didn't help with Statue of the Crane form. Especially when I did the punch to the floor and have to hop back and turn at the same time.. I tend to fall on the punch, not on the hop. Anyway, new shoes.. I'm happy.
Did a drawing tonight.. of Sarah Michelle Gellar.. yes, yes, it is becoming an obsession.. well, SMG and ED that is. I did't com across any image of Eliza Dushku that I want to draw yet. I'll do one of her (or several) when I find a good image. ^_^
X: over and out for the night
May 27, 2003
Elphie!! ThanX! I knew that she'll host it, just didn't know when. Now I'll set up the vcr for it, I'm not home during that time.. Though I would've tape it even if I'm here.
I'm still slowly watching Lain.. and I stopped with Rose of Versailles.. I'll start up again when my head stop spinning.
I'm still slowly watching Lain.. and I stopped with Rose of Versailles.. I'll start up again when my head stop spinning.
May 26, 2003
I've spent last night and all day today watching Rose Of Versailles, man, it's like craming two weeks worth of anime into a day and a night, still not finish thoug, I got about 10 more episodes to go. I decided to stop and watch Lain.. Yeah I'll be cramming that one in too.. LOL.. not a good idea actually, I should watch it slowly so I still have stuff to watch and not feel the need to go out and get anime. (still need to get Noir 3, Crying Freeman 2, X)
Guess what, my nose still hurt when I tap at it.. man next time I'll keep my face away from a foot.
Guess what, my nose still hurt when I tap at it.. man next time I'll keep my face away from a foot.
May 24, 2003
Listening : Why [ Stabbing Westward ]
I am not here
I think I've never
been here at all
or ever will be
I feel like a place
where no one goes anymore
why can't you see
that everything's broken
why does it seem this life's turned gray
I can't believe in anything sacred
when I don't believe that I am real
I need someone to
break the silence
that's screaming in my head
and in my soul
it seems so bizarre
but none of this matters
thoughts disappear, and hope has died
but now I am safe,
nothing can hurt me here
why can't you see
my need for forgiveness
the truth and the lies
so confused as one
I can't believe in anything sacred
when I don't believe in anything
I need someone to
break the silence
that's screaming in my head
and in my soul
I am alone
locked in my memories
there's nowhere left for me to hide
but I am not real
I've made all I am with lies
why does it seem that everything's different
why does it seem that only you are real
I don't believe in anything sacred
so, why do I feel so damned alone?
I am not here
I think I've never
been here at all
or ever will be
I feel like a place
where no one goes anymore
why can't you see
that everything's broken
why does it seem this life's turned gray
I can't believe in anything sacred
when I don't believe that I am real
I need someone to
break the silence
that's screaming in my head
and in my soul
it seems so bizarre
but none of this matters
thoughts disappear, and hope has died
but now I am safe,
nothing can hurt me here
why can't you see
my need for forgiveness
the truth and the lies
so confused as one
I can't believe in anything sacred
when I don't believe in anything
I need someone to
break the silence
that's screaming in my head
and in my soul
I am alone
locked in my memories
there's nowhere left for me to hide
but I am not real
I've made all I am with lies
why does it seem that everything's different
why does it seem that only you are real
I don't believe in anything sacred
so, why do I feel so damned alone?
May 23, 2003
I got kicked in the face today. So my nose still hurt, though no nose bleed or anything. Well, I never had nose bleed in my life and I don't think I'm gonna start now. We got a few techniques today too.. fast hand and the other one which we didn't get the name, footwork itself was good and the way of the hit... it's cool.
May 22, 2003
There's somthing in your ways
That makes me wanna stay here for a thousand years
So just cry your fears, I need you everyday
Inside you I just want to wipe away your fears
So just cry your tears
I wish I was with you
If I stay well than your tears will set you free
If I stay right here and forever with you
everything I feel for you
Is everything I want to stay with you
If I stay right here and forever with you
My eyes
This is tearing me apart
I wish I could be in your sometimes
Feel you again
Anytime I feel like I'm too far
Than I will try to remember all ours
and your memories I know
I wish I was in you
If I stay
Well then your tears will set you free
If I stay right here than forever with you
Everything I feel for you
Is everything I want to stay with you
If I stay right here
Than forever with you
my eyes!
[ Ill Nino | With You ]
That makes me wanna stay here for a thousand years
So just cry your fears, I need you everyday
Inside you I just want to wipe away your fears
So just cry your tears
I wish I was with you
If I stay well than your tears will set you free
If I stay right here and forever with you
everything I feel for you
Is everything I want to stay with you
If I stay right here and forever with you
My eyes
This is tearing me apart
I wish I could be in your sometimes
Feel you again
Anytime I feel like I'm too far
Than I will try to remember all ours
and your memories I know
I wish I was in you
If I stay
Well then your tears will set you free
If I stay right here than forever with you
Everything I feel for you
Is everything I want to stay with you
If I stay right here
Than forever with you
my eyes!
[ Ill Nino | With You ]
May 21, 2003
I'm sleepy, but of course I won't be sleeping or anything. Not for a while anyway. My right wrist took some beating today, so it'll bruised pretty bad tomorrow and now we're out of laundry detergent.. mean I'm running out to get some right now. Or maybe a bit later, or tomorrow, though I wanna get the laundry done tonight, just one of those things you want to get done in one shot and not leave it. Anyway, we'll see.. I spent last night making the montage as a favor for a friend.. who is doing some cd cover for her friend.. I don't even get pay for this shit, but hey, it'll look good when I got the cd itself to go into my portfolio. Besides.. I'd be up either way. It was a rainy day so I didn't paint or anything. And apparently it'll rain tomorrow too.. ha!
Elphie IE kept freezing up when I tried to go to your blog, don't know why... weird.
Elphie IE kept freezing up when I tried to go to your blog, don't know why... weird.
Listening : Rest In Pieces [ Saliva ]
yup, bad week, and it's not even half over yet. I have to drive to Woburn to get the mattboard, unbelievable, none of the art store around here has it, yup, driving.. The only think that I mind would be because I'd end up buying more stuff, artsupplies.. or just something I felt the need to get my hands on, but not really needed it.
Elphaba, glad you like the layout.. I love Eliza, she's SEXXY!!! I'm looking forward to her new movie.. Wrong Turn (though I'm not sure what it was about) I'll be like when I go see Bring It On, completely not my type of movie, but went anyway cause she was in it! I considering using Sarah M. Gellar for a layout too.. only because you can't have Faith without Buffy.. (almost type Fuffy.. that would be wrong.) ^_^ (yeah I know obsessed much??)
love to be beside you,
the way you smell
the way your lips feel
and your fingernails
the way your fingers crawl up my spine
the way you always make me
the last in line
I carry the weight of the world
as the past is unfolded
but I won't stop to wonder
going through life on my own
made me as cold as a stone
I'm a ship going under
and I'd tell you this
but I don't know how
I'm caving in and I'm falling out
and I can't resist
and I can't rebound with the weight of the world
as the world falls down
it's the way you thrill me
a little more each day
and it's what you're thinkinging
in your twisted mind
the way your body trembles
when it's next to mine
this pain I think about it everyday
it tells me I'm never gonna get away
I know it's over, but I can't escape memories
and how to face another day
[ Saliva | Weight Of The World ]
yup, bad week, and it's not even half over yet. I have to drive to Woburn to get the mattboard, unbelievable, none of the art store around here has it, yup, driving.. The only think that I mind would be because I'd end up buying more stuff, artsupplies.. or just something I felt the need to get my hands on, but not really needed it.
Elphaba, glad you like the layout.. I love Eliza, she's SEXXY!!! I'm looking forward to her new movie.. Wrong Turn (though I'm not sure what it was about) I'll be like when I go see Bring It On, completely not my type of movie, but went anyway cause she was in it! I considering using Sarah M. Gellar for a layout too.. only because you can't have Faith without Buffy.. (almost type Fuffy.. that would be wrong.) ^_^ (yeah I know obsessed much??)
love to be beside you,
the way you smell
the way your lips feel
and your fingernails
the way your fingers crawl up my spine
the way you always make me
the last in line
I carry the weight of the world
as the past is unfolded
but I won't stop to wonder
going through life on my own
made me as cold as a stone
I'm a ship going under
and I'd tell you this
but I don't know how
I'm caving in and I'm falling out
and I can't resist
and I can't rebound with the weight of the world
as the world falls down
it's the way you thrill me
a little more each day
and it's what you're thinkinging
in your twisted mind
the way your body trembles
when it's next to mine
this pain I think about it everyday
it tells me I'm never gonna get away
I know it's over, but I can't escape memories
and how to face another day
[ Saliva | Weight Of The World ]
May 19, 2003
We got a little of the Bo form today, not much and I barely remember anything. My wrist still hurt and I had a bad day, yup... not a good week now that I think about it. Anyway how.. I won the auction for Rose of Verssailles, I never thought I'd see that on auction, but hey, once it's there I couldn't pass up. And also got Lain too.. never saw it, but heard lots of good thing about it so I figure i'll get it while I can. Make me feel a bit better about today. Unexpected phone call and IM, that'll do it.