Listening : Lucky [ Deftones ]

'who are you to me... just a girl with a damn good left cross.... So why do I keep thinking about you?'

My wrist hurts a bit, which is not surprising, with all the movement it went through and also the thing that had been slamming against it lately. I'm surprise it's not worst, but I gotta count my small blessing. I'm suppose to be painting the shed tomorrow or something like that. Think that maybe I should just go get my portfolio from school and maybe Tudor would have my final project waiting.. somehow I doubted that though..

Listening : Wasted Years [ Cold ]

I did a new layout for SyntheticSoul finally!!! And yeah someone did say that I'm obsessed.. but I think this choice of obsession is better than the old one, seeing how the previous one only put me in depression at the drop of a hat.

I got Cold new album and I'm loving it. I like the Spider thing they got going.. The other album "13 ways to bleed on the stage" has spider on it too. This one is "Year of the spider" Anyway.. If you didn't have it yet, gotta get it.

I updated a few links, seems that while I was busy with school a few blogs had disappeared, so I took the links down, add a few that I found along the way. That's it for right now.

Listening : Fiction [ Orgy ]

New layout, finally! Well, I've been busy with school and now that it is finally done for the semester I got the change to make a new layout. Again Eliza Dushku... first it's because I love her.. second I love Faith and third.. well, I just couldn't help myself.

Today me and Cat got a few basic moves for stick fighting.. cool, huh. As long as we don't hit each other over the head we should be fine. I don't get hit by the nunchuks anymore, well, still got caught on the side a few times.. but only when I'm not paying attention to the positions of my hands when I swing it back. But we live and learn and practice make perfect.

Listening : Rest In Pieces [ Saliva ]

IT'S OVER!!!! YES!!!! I am exhausted.. but my presentation was over, so I'm done for the semester. They were late for my time slot, though I was kinda glad that they went and took a break before my presentation, they were a bit mellowing out. Hope I did good. I mean I have mix of html and flash and JS and a bunch of other crap in there, a hell of a lot of work if you ask me.. just figuring that damn thing out, I'm no flash expert by any mean. Anyway, tomorrow I'll drop the CD off and hopefully pick up my portfolio but something told me I wouldn't be doing the second I doubt Tudor has the time. And my final project for his class is also out of the question, I won't be picking it up before the end of next week. ( he wanted to take slides of it.. ) It looked real good if I do say so myself.. SMG looks good anyway... Karen suggested that I should do that for my senior studio next semester.. I'm thinking about it.. a series of it would be good. I enjoy making them anyway, so.. I guess it is a good idea.. subject matter has to be explanable though... I guess I have the summer to think about it.

Ok... tomorrow.. tomorrow... tomorrow... Senior Studio presentation.. god I can't wait for it to be over already.. I've been doing that and that alone for the past week.. and I'm ready for the semester to end. Hopefully all the instructors will be happy. Then I can finally make a new layout for this thing.. I love Eliza so I might make another one of her.. like a series of Eliza Dushku layout.. however that will have to wait till after tomorrow. Keep my fingers crossed.. wish me luck?

I had to go and get some incence the other day, I was all out.. so now it's smell really nice here. Still SS project... it's going.. I'm trying to decide what else I should do with the layout or if I should leave it as it is. I got the flash file pretty much set as well. Review is Wed.. and I need to go in tomorrow to take down that Figure Drawing project.. SMG pic.. I was told that the wall space I put it on will be painted.. by the girl that's going to use it to hang up her stuff.. so I better go take it down before she does it for me.. oh well..

Got the chucks... I actually expecting 1, but I got 2, didn't remember that, but then I don't really know how they come in anyway. My shoes will be another week, the guy didn't have 7.5, he only had 9.5 which Dmytry ordered.. So, another week. Patient.. I am being very, very patient, at least I got the nunchucks to play with for now. I got Sukeban Deka (Asamiya Saki.. student detective.. ring a bell?? It's pretty old.. ) By Wada Shinji I got the 1 vol of the manga a long time ago.. which was a reprint, but then I didn't get the rest because I came to the US.. now I'm asking my friend to find them for me.. see what happen.

Think I did a bit better with the nunchuk.. they're light.. well, rubber and tube.. can't use the real one yet, already hit myself in the head with it.. and my shoulder.. my sides.. the back of my hand.. ok.. broke my Hermatite ring too.. FUN!!!

It's done!!! And look pretty damn good too. I guess unless someone wanna buy it, it'll go on my bedroom wall... or.. some wall. Anyway, I should get some sleep.. I thought I was gonna pass out in my class today, Sensei Al was afraid that it was because I got taken down too hard or something, but it wasn't that. It was me burning the midnight oil for weeks, not really eating either today, and with all that sweat and nothing else to go.. I sorta about to crash, sat down the last 5-10 min of class, which helps a bit.. after that.. food, yup, faster the better.. Now I feel better, project is done and if he doesnt' like it then well.. too bad. What's left now is Senior Studio, god I want it all to be done already.

Piper, thanX, finally.. I eyed it for a while too, but didn't really sit down and reread it again. Now I can tell Jamie that I didn't imagining things, that the damn story did exist!!!!

I remember the first time
How could I ever forget
It was only the beginning
Of everything I'd ever get

Here's to ancient times and distant memories
To the most lavish feast my mind has ever seen
I tasted your wine, then I drank your soul
(I) saw through your kaleidoscope

Blue Sun
Blue Sun
I never should have come
Never should have left
Blue Sun
These emotions can't be mine
I don't want to feel again
Fill the void just one more time
This will all be over soon

I've begun to hear the siren song again
Dreaming in a pretty shade of nothingness
Transcendental melodies putting me to sleep
And I pray the Lord my soul to keep

Blue Sun
Blue Sun
I never should have come
Never should have left
Blue Sun

[ Darling Violetta | Blue Sun ]

I'm doing my figure drawing project, and it is SMG, yeah ok, ok, Sarah M. Gellar.. Just wanna be lazy for a sec. Read too much Buffy/Faith lately, but don't think that's gonna stop anytime soon. The project due tomorrow, 2'x3' which is like 12 pieces of 8"x9" think I can sell it once I'm done?

'you are a god among insect, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.'
[ Magneto to Pyro ]

Listening : Always [ Saliva ]

Just got back from watching X-Men, it was cool, I liked it a lot. And that reminds me, I still didn't get X-Men on dvd.. maybe I'll wait for this one to come out and get them at the same time (ok.. so it'll be a while) I'll be watching movie for the rest of the night I think, if I can't find anything to read before that. I've been doing that a lot lately, read. I should work on my project.. I really should, but I couldn't come up with anything. What can I say... block is everywhere..

Listening : Weight of The World [ Saliva ]

Ok, so I went and helped Sensei Al's 4-5 class today, and so Sensei Lenny taught me a few basic moves for the nunchuck.. Hell yeah!! So I'm getting one.. I need to practice and not having one will not be helpful. New pair of shoes too.. So I'm getting Otomix Slider.. white/gray. Can't wait for the other ones.. I don't mind the waiting just that as long as I know when they are coming for sure, but they don't even know when they are getting them.. so we said screw it. A few more bucks for the Otomix, but hey I'll get them for sure. Besides I liked how they looked. ^_^ Now I better go nursing that aching jaw of mine.

You know what's the best part of The New Guy is? An entire scene of Eliza Dushku changing from one bathing suit to the other and dancing!! I broke down and bought it.. only for her. Guess I'm crazy.. but that's nothing new. Normal for me in fact.

I spent an hour with Pao, while she is doing her laundry and I waited so we could go get some food. I hadn't really spent any time with her much lately, but then I haven't really spent any time with anyone, except Jamie. I actually detest human company right now. Pain just won't go away and I don't know what to do about it, except just lost myself in other people's fantasy world. I finally got the photo back from her though.. my final Senior Studio 801 project. Yup complete pic and if you ask, it is 6'8"X4'8" cover 1 section of a wall. My neck and fingers were thankful when I finished with it. Too bad it wasn't appreciated by the one person I made it for. Life... what else is new.

Tomorrow I have to remember to bring the DVD for Joe... Forgot to today.. I was just in daze.. lack of sleep tend to do that to ya..

Hey Elphaba nice new layout.. ^_^ I like it.

Listening : The Fear [ Trustcompany ]

Talked to my parents last night, seem that my sister is acting up, saying if I can go to school then so can she. Well, no one said that she couldn't, except she got nothing out of it. Learn absolutely nothing, thus no point of paying all that money so she could screw around, hanging out with her friends, not even learning the language to top that off. I told mom that if she wants to learn then by all means, but she since she learn absolutely nothing then sorry, if she wants to fuck it up that bad, let her. Dad pays for the car, and since she won't help out and won't listen then take it away, but of course mom won't let that happen. I told her that it's her life, she wanna go and piss it all away then it's her problem. She can't go out and spend money if she doesn't have any, mom won't go for that either, so I told her then I have no suggestion, except me beating the shit out of her and some sense into her. And not to be vague about this, I. WILL. Nothing annoy me more than my snort nose little sister thinks she's so clever when she's not. There're always pluses being older, power was one of the plus. Have a little brain to operate with ain't a bad thing. Really, it ain't. This is just stupid.

My jaw aches, it'll go away soon, but in the mean time it hurts! I don't remember who hit me, so.. well, it happens, sparring.. you expect to get hit some. I'm quite happy to be able to get under Sensei Lenny's guard. It was great!! Got Crying Freeman, I'll get Noir #2, unfortunately they were out of it, so it kinda bite. Oh well, tomorrow.. get some light, sheets, then work on SS project.

Well, learned of some news, and let's just say that just break whatever left of me. Guess this is it. Not much else I can do but leave. Maybe someday I won't feel anymore and then it'll be better. Now I'll just have to focus on school and training. Green belt now and they'll ride us hard, not that I mind, that's just how it should be. Next month there will be stick fighting seminar at Londonderry dojo.. think I'll take that. 4 hours, Sensei Lenny said, it'll be fun.

life is like a melody
sang deep within my soul
sang deep witin to me
all these chains that shackle me
they won't let me take control
they wanna take control of me
I've got to rise above my life
to find the reason I'm alive

I'll save myself
I'm all alone
I've opened my heart to
see there's nobody home
it's up to me
I'm on my own
the message of life
is turning facing the storm

life is filled with your memory
you were deep within my heart
you were deep with inside of me
with all this pain
that I'm wrapped around
if there's a heaven up above
I see the angels falling down

I've got to rise above my life
to find the reason I'm alive
I'll save myself
I'm all alone
I've opened my heart to see there's nobody home
it's up to me
I'm on my own
the message of life is
turning facing the storm.
[ Saliva | Storm ]

Listening : Rest In Pieces [ Saliva ]

look at me,
my depth perception must be off again
cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did
it has not healed with time
it just shot down my spine
you look so beautiful tonight
remind me how you laid us down
and gently smiled
before you destroyed my life

would you find it in your heart
to make this go away
and let me rest in pieces

look at me,
my dept perception must be off again
you got much closer than I thought you did
I'm in your reach
you held me in your hands

but could you find it in your heart
to make this go away
and let me rest in pieces
would you find it in your heart
to make it go away
and let me rest in pieces