Death and Dying : man, how I wish I'd taken that course.

My father is dying.

I've said it out loud and I know it. I guess it's better to accept it, but at the same time I don't think the relative on my father's side do.

I'm not a very extroverted person, and people that knows me knew that. However, these people, who were so concern about my father and I have to give it to them, because I know that they do love my father, but they don't know me.

The fact that he ran away for a couple of day, my aunt thought I was such a horrible daughter for not calling her to ask. Why didn't she let me know that she knows something? How am I suppose to know to call, when she was the one that told me she didn't know where he was? I'm sick of her already.

Bitching and moaning, isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing and not her, this is my father, after all. She did things without tell me, that's fine, but she did it without telling my mother, is that how they do it these days?

My father was a good man, yes, but whatever he does, other than helping them, and what he did in the last couple of years, they had no idea.

She applied her standard to me, I'm not her and I'm not her kids. No wonder people are sick of her, I AM sicked of her already. Let's just say, I won't be seeing her for a long time to come, however this thing play out. I can take advice, but advice not demands.

Not to speak ill of the man, but is it right for him to go seek attention outside, while we work our asses off, then saying we don't pay attention to him. We all do what we were taught to do and act the way we were taught, what's to say which one is wrong way to act. I wish they would just fuck off. It is getting tedious to bear their grieve on top of mine.

And I'd like to ask, what about the one that got left behind. So we're suppose to work as well as stay up all night to watch him. Can't do both, someone has to pay for the treatment and hospital, and we are paying, so there's gotta be money coming in. I can't certainly say fuck the work, because the consequence is long lasting.

Even after the dead is gone and buried.