May 29, 2003

Listening : Before The Dawn [ Evanescence ]

Elphie I'm sure they'll rerun those again.. I'd hoped that they would rerun the whole thing, ya know.. every ep before Graduation.. that didn't seem to be the case, however. Well, I guess I'll set up the time everyday and keep the one I like.. (that or I'll grit my teeth and just buy the DVD.. I still have so many to catch up on thought.. T_T)

I got Sukeban Deka back from Joe, he loved it, he thought it was a bit short, and I agreed. I still need to get the rest of X the series.. (I started a little late.. so now I only have 1, 2) Need to get Noir vol.3, Crying Freeman 2. So many to get so little money. LOL.

Piper glad you like the drawing. I should draw just for the sake of drawing more often. I'm looking around to see if I can find one of Eliza that I like enough to draw. I mean, I like all of them, but some are better to draw than others. Just me and my pickiness ^_^
Meet me after dark again and I'll hold you
I am nothing more than to see you there
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn

If only night can hold you where i can see you, my love
Then let me never ever wake again
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn

somehow i know that we cant wake again from this dream
it's not real, but it's ours

Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn

Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn

[ Evanescence | Before The Dawn ]


my day was all right up until someone decided that things needed to be dug up. And it's the same old thing. What I feel didn't matter then and doesn't matter now, not to her, never to her. So what if she hurts me, I should still stay right where I was and take it? I don't think so. Suddenly I'm the bestfriend, well, as soon as she got her real bestfriend back that is. No, not doing this anymore. Can't afford to pick myself up off the floor and put myself back together only to be broken down again. And they think I'm so depressed, there's reason to my depression. Fuck them, fuck her.

May 28, 2003

I taped Buffy rerun with Eliza as host.. ^_^

I got to talk to Renee today before karate, it's great to hear from her again, I don't remember the last time I talk to her so. It's nice to catch up a bit. She'll be moving back, maybe we can hang out sometimes. The class today was fine, I got 2 more bruises on my right arm.. it usually the right arm anyway, the arm you punch in with. That makes 7 bruises that I'm aware of. Sensei Al got 3 sectional staff in the dojo, my shoes are coming in tomorrow, though I won't get the white/gray with blue lining, I'll get the white with black lining, which is all right. At this point I don't care if I get the black, I just want the new shoes.. The old pair I kept falling off when I do crane stand, so it didn't help with Statue of the Crane form. Especially when I did the punch to the floor and have to hop back and turn at the same time.. I tend to fall on the punch, not on the hop. Anyway, new shoes.. I'm happy.

Did a drawing tonight.. of Sarah Michelle Gellar.. yes, yes, it is becoming an obsession.. well, SMG and ED that is. I did't com across any image of Eliza Dushku that I want to draw yet. I'll do one of her (or several) when I find a good image. ^_^

X: over and out for the night

May 27, 2003

Elphie!! ThanX! I knew that she'll host it, just didn't know when. Now I'll set up the vcr for it, I'm not home during that time.. Though I would've tape it even if I'm here.

I'm still slowly watching Lain.. and I stopped with Rose of Versailles.. I'll start up again when my head stop spinning.

May 26, 2003

I've spent last night and all day today watching Rose Of Versailles, man, it's like craming two weeks worth of anime into a day and a night, still not finish thoug, I got about 10 more episodes to go. I decided to stop and watch Lain.. Yeah I'll be cramming that one in too.. LOL.. not a good idea actually, I should watch it slowly so I still have stuff to watch and not feel the need to go out and get anime. (still need to get Noir 3, Crying Freeman 2, X)

Guess what, my nose still hurt when I tap at it.. man next time I'll keep my face away from a foot.

May 24, 2003

Listening : Why [ Stabbing Westward ]

I am not here
I think I've never
been here at all
or ever will be
I feel like a place
where no one goes anymore

why can't you see
that everything's broken
why does it seem this life's turned gray
I can't believe in anything sacred
when I don't believe that I am real

I need someone to
break the silence
that's screaming in my head
and in my soul

it seems so bizarre
but none of this matters
thoughts disappear, and hope has died
but now I am safe,
nothing can hurt me here

why can't you see
my need for forgiveness
the truth and the lies
so confused as one
I can't believe in anything sacred
when I don't believe in anything

I need someone to
break the silence
that's screaming in my head
and in my soul

I am alone
locked in my memories
there's nowhere left for me to hide
but I am not real
I've made all I am with lies

why does it seem that everything's different
why does it seem that only you are real
I don't believe in anything sacred
so, why do I feel so damned alone?

May 23, 2003

I got kicked in the face today. So my nose still hurt, though no nose bleed or anything. Well, I never had nose bleed in my life and I don't think I'm gonna start now. We got a few techniques today too.. fast hand and the other one which we didn't get the name, footwork itself was good and the way of the hit... it's cool.

May 22, 2003

There's somthing in your ways
That makes me wanna stay here for a thousand years
So just cry your fears, I need you everyday
Inside you I just want to wipe away your fears
So just cry your tears

I wish I was with you

If I stay well than your tears will set you free
If I stay right here and forever with you
everything I feel for you
Is everything I want to stay with you
If I stay right here and forever with you

My eyes

This is tearing me apart
I wish I could be in your sometimes
Feel you again
Anytime I feel like I'm too far
Than I will try to remember all ours
and your memories I know

I wish I was in you

If I stay
Well then your tears will set you free
If I stay right here than forever with you
Everything I feel for you
Is everything I want to stay with you
If I stay right here
Than forever with you

my eyes!

[ Ill Nino | With You ]

May 21, 2003

I'm sleepy, but of course I won't be sleeping or anything. Not for a while anyway. My right wrist took some beating today, so it'll bruised pretty bad tomorrow and now we're out of laundry detergent.. mean I'm running out to get some right now. Or maybe a bit later, or tomorrow, though I wanna get the laundry done tonight, just one of those things you want to get done in one shot and not leave it. Anyway, we'll see.. I spent last night making the montage as a favor for a friend.. who is doing some cd cover for her friend.. I don't even get pay for this shit, but hey, it'll look good when I got the cd itself to go into my portfolio. Besides.. I'd be up either way. It was a rainy day so I didn't paint or anything. And apparently it'll rain tomorrow too.. ha!

Elphie IE kept freezing up when I tried to go to your blog, don't know why... weird.
Listening : Rest In Pieces [ Saliva ]

yup, bad week, and it's not even half over yet. I have to drive to Woburn to get the mattboard, unbelievable, none of the art store around here has it, yup, driving.. The only think that I mind would be because I'd end up buying more stuff, artsupplies.. or just something I felt the need to get my hands on, but not really needed it.

Elphaba, glad you like the layout.. I love Eliza, she's SEXXY!!! I'm looking forward to her new movie.. Wrong Turn (though I'm not sure what it was about) I'll be like when I go see Bring It On, completely not my type of movie, but went anyway cause she was in it! I considering using Sarah M. Gellar for a layout too.. only because you can't have Faith without Buffy.. (almost type Fuffy.. that would be wrong.) ^_^ (yeah I know obsessed much??)

love to be beside you,
the way you smell
the way your lips feel
and your fingernails
the way your fingers crawl up my spine
the way you always make me
the last in line


I carry the weight of the world
as the past is unfolded
but I won't stop to wonder
going through life on my own
made me as cold as a stone
I'm a ship going under
and I'd tell you this
but I don't know how
I'm caving in and I'm falling out
and I can't resist
and I can't rebound with the weight of the world
as the world falls down

it's the way you thrill me
a little more each day
and it's what you're thinkinging
in your twisted mind
the way your body trembles
when it's next to mine

this pain I think about it everyday
it tells me I'm never gonna get away
I know it's over, but I can't escape memories
and how to face another day


[ Saliva | Weight Of The World ]

May 19, 2003

We got a little of the Bo form today, not much and I barely remember anything. My wrist still hurt and I had a bad day, yup... not a good week now that I think about it. Anyway how.. I won the auction for Rose of Verssailles, I never thought I'd see that on auction, but hey, once it's there I couldn't pass up. And also got Lain too.. never saw it, but heard lots of good thing about it so I figure i'll get it while I can. Make me feel a bit better about today. Unexpected phone call and IM, that'll do it.
Listening : Lucky [ Deftones ]

'who are you to me... just a girl with a damn good left cross.... So why do I keep thinking about you?'

My wrist hurts a bit, which is not surprising, with all the movement it went through and also the thing that had been slamming against it lately. I'm surprise it's not worst, but I gotta count my small blessing. I'm suppose to be painting the shed tomorrow or something like that. Think that maybe I should just go get my portfolio from school and maybe Tudor would have my final project waiting.. somehow I doubted that though..

May 18, 2003

Listening : Wasted Years [ Cold ]

I did a new layout for SyntheticSoul finally!!! And yeah someone did say that I'm obsessed.. but I think this choice of obsession is better than the old one, seeing how the previous one only put me in depression at the drop of a hat.

I got Cold new album and I'm loving it. I like the Spider thing they got going.. The other album "13 ways to bleed on the stage" has spider on it too. This one is "Year of the spider" Anyway.. If you didn't have it yet, gotta get it.

May 17, 2003

I updated a few links, seems that while I was busy with school a few blogs had disappeared, so I took the links down, add a few that I found along the way. That's it for right now.

May 16, 2003

Listening : Fiction [ Orgy ]

New layout, finally! Well, I've been busy with school and now that it is finally done for the semester I got the change to make a new layout. Again Eliza Dushku... first it's because I love her.. second I love Faith and third.. well, I just couldn't help myself.

Today me and Cat got a few basic moves for stick fighting.. cool, huh. As long as we don't hit each other over the head we should be fine. I don't get hit by the nunchuks anymore, well, still got caught on the side a few times.. but only when I'm not paying attention to the positions of my hands when I swing it back. But we live and learn and practice make perfect.

May 15, 2003

Listening : Rest In Pieces [ Saliva ]

IT'S OVER!!!! YES!!!! I am exhausted.. but my presentation was over, so I'm done for the semester. They were late for my time slot, though I was kinda glad that they went and took a break before my presentation, they were a bit mellowing out. Hope I did good. I mean I have mix of html and flash and JS and a bunch of other crap in there, a hell of a lot of work if you ask me.. just figuring that damn thing out, I'm no flash expert by any mean. Anyway, tomorrow I'll drop the CD off and hopefully pick up my portfolio but something told me I wouldn't be doing the second I doubt Tudor has the time. And my final project for his class is also out of the question, I won't be picking it up before the end of next week. ( he wanted to take slides of it.. ) It looked real good if I do say so myself.. SMG looks good anyway... Karen suggested that I should do that for my senior studio next semester.. I'm thinking about it.. a series of it would be good. I enjoy making them anyway, so.. I guess it is a good idea.. subject matter has to be explanable though... I guess I have the summer to think about it.

May 14, 2003

Ok... tomorrow.. tomorrow... tomorrow... Senior Studio presentation.. god I can't wait for it to be over already.. I've been doing that and that alone for the past week.. and I'm ready for the semester to end. Hopefully all the instructors will be happy. Then I can finally make a new layout for this thing.. I love Eliza so I might make another one of her.. like a series of Eliza Dushku layout.. however that will have to wait till after tomorrow. Keep my fingers crossed.. wish me luck?

May 11, 2003

I had to go and get some incence the other day, I was all out.. so now it's smell really nice here. Still SS project... it's going.. I'm trying to decide what else I should do with the layout or if I should leave it as it is. I got the flash file pretty much set as well. Review is Wed.. and I need to go in tomorrow to take down that Figure Drawing project.. SMG pic.. I was told that the wall space I put it on will be painted.. by the girl that's going to use it to hang up her stuff.. so I better go take it down before she does it for me.. oh well..

May 08, 2003

Got the chucks... I actually expecting 1, but I got 2, didn't remember that, but then I don't really know how they come in anyway. My shoes will be another week, the guy didn't have 7.5, he only had 9.5 which Dmytry ordered.. So, another week. Patient.. I am being very, very patient, at least I got the nunchucks to play with for now. I got Sukeban Deka (Asamiya Saki.. student detective.. ring a bell?? It's pretty old.. ) By Wada Shinji I got the 1 vol of the manga a long time ago.. which was a reprint, but then I didn't get the rest because I came to the US.. now I'm asking my friend to find them for me.. see what happen.

Think I did a bit better with the nunchuk.. they're light.. well, rubber and tube.. can't use the real one yet, already hit myself in the head with it.. and my shoulder.. my sides.. the back of my hand.. ok.. broke my Hermatite ring too.. FUN!!!
It's done!!! And look pretty damn good too. I guess unless someone wanna buy it, it'll go on my bedroom wall... or.. some wall. Anyway, I should get some sleep.. I thought I was gonna pass out in my class today, Sensei Al was afraid that it was because I got taken down too hard or something, but it wasn't that. It was me burning the midnight oil for weeks, not really eating either today, and with all that sweat and nothing else to go.. I sorta about to crash, sat down the last 5-10 min of class, which helps a bit.. after that.. food, yup, faster the better.. Now I feel better, project is done and if he doesnt' like it then well.. too bad. What's left now is Senior Studio, god I want it all to be done already.

Piper, thanX, finally.. I eyed it for a while too, but didn't really sit down and reread it again. Now I can tell Jamie that I didn't imagining things, that the damn story did exist!!!!

May 07, 2003

I remember the first time
How could I ever forget
It was only the beginning
Of everything I'd ever get

Here's to ancient times and distant memories
To the most lavish feast my mind has ever seen
I tasted your wine, then I drank your soul
(I) saw through your kaleidoscope

Blue Sun
Blue Sun
I never should have come
Never should have left
Blue Sun
These emotions can't be mine
I don't want to feel again
Fill the void just one more time
This will all be over soon

I've begun to hear the siren song again
Dreaming in a pretty shade of nothingness
Transcendental melodies putting me to sleep
And I pray the Lord my soul to keep

Blue Sun
Blue Sun
I never should have come
Never should have left
Blue Sun

[ Darling Violetta | Blue Sun ]
I'm doing my figure drawing project, and it is SMG, yeah ok, ok, Sarah M. Gellar.. Just wanna be lazy for a sec. Read too much Buffy/Faith lately, but don't think that's gonna stop anytime soon. The project due tomorrow, 2'x3' which is like 12 pieces of 8"x9" think I can sell it once I'm done?

May 06, 2003

'you are a god among insect, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.'
[ Magneto to Pyro ]

May 04, 2003

Listening : Always [ Saliva ]

Just got back from watching X-Men, it was cool, I liked it a lot. And that reminds me, I still didn't get X-Men on dvd.. maybe I'll wait for this one to come out and get them at the same time (ok.. so it'll be a while) I'll be watching movie for the rest of the night I think, if I can't find anything to read before that. I've been doing that a lot lately, read. I should work on my project.. I really should, but I couldn't come up with anything. What can I say... block is everywhere..

May 02, 2003

Listening : Weight of The World [ Saliva ]

Ok, so I went and helped Sensei Al's 4-5 class today, and so Sensei Lenny taught me a few basic moves for the nunchuck.. Hell yeah!! So I'm getting one.. I need to practice and not having one will not be helpful. New pair of shoes too.. So I'm getting Otomix Slider.. white/gray. Can't wait for the other ones.. I don't mind the waiting just that as long as I know when they are coming for sure, but they don't even know when they are getting them.. so we said screw it. A few more bucks for the Otomix, but hey I'll get them for sure. Besides I liked how they looked. ^_^ Now I better go nursing that aching jaw of mine.