November 27, 2002

Currently: half asleep
Doing: trying to mark the track on my MD

Well, I got here last night (MO I mean) and my bag did not get here with me!! So, now I'm in the pj bottom that I'd given her when she visited me at the end of August, which was fine... I've just spent the last hour waiting to talk to the baggage claim about the file number and when the bag will get here... it could be here by noon, or later.. it's a pisser, but anyway I just need my stuff so I can actually get dress, right now if I shower I'll still stay in the clothe that I slept in.. which is ok I guess don't think I will need to go anywhere till late in the day. Let's just hope my project did not get crushed, because I would never be able to make up 40 something pieces of that in a week and make the rest that still need to be done. I won't have energy... bending over those things to cut for too long will kill me. Oh well, life stinks!!

November 23, 2002

Currently: getting ready for the trip
Doing: watching the making of LotR

I'll be going to MO again on Tue, and well, my dufflebag will still be in use for my karate class till Monday night, so as of right now I cannot empty it and pack, so I'll be packing on Monday night and I'll be skipping Tue morning class.. not that I care too much about that one. As of right now I'm looking forward to it.. I wasn't sure if I was excited about that before, though. Had a conversation with her last night.. um.. not so much of conversation when it's just her talking and me listening. She was giving me the summary of what had been happening to her and such. Then at the end of it she managed to give me crap about me, that I'm almost always depress and she cannot be with someone like that, well, guess what, didn't think it'll happen anyway, but it still annoying. I just told her that she doesn't know that I am depressed or not and how often, so just stop and go on with the story (basically told her to shut the hell up.) Anyway, I'm too busy for that, I'm going to the dojo at least 4-5 times a week for class and sparring, and it's school, home, school, dojo then after that I'm just too tired to do much. I can honestly say that she doesn't really know me anymore.

November 16, 2002

Ok, by the end of November and beginning of December it might be the last chapter of this insane relationship, if we could even call it a relationship, more like the usage.. me being used that is. Used and abused aren't they what she does best. sick and tired of it. All the lies, the worse thing I think people could do is lie and more lies and more lies, this thing base on nothing but deceit.

November 14, 2002

Currently: working on the project
Doing: listening to the tv

I got Hellsing : Search and Destroy yesterday and I want to say this.. Integral Wingates Hellsing I think I'm in love!! I'm loving it and can't wait for the next one that will come out in Dec. I think I'll get the manga, even though they will be in Japanese, I don't mind, I'm sure I can find translation or a friend who could translate for me.. (Noriko came to mind) Anyway, I did the quiz which character in Hellsing are you and I am Arucard.. except after I took the quiz I couldn't get on blogger.. Oh well, I'll do it again and then post it, I guess. I'm off to bed tomorrow will be going to school to work on the project with Karen.. actually Karen asked becasue she didn't wanna do it by herself in the studio and it was fine with me, so I'll go..

X : and with my one last gasping breath, I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt

November 12, 2002

Currently: in my Typography class
Doing: waiting for the other half

I finally got the Bring Me To Life by Evanescence finally. 3 nights of just sit there searching and waiting, hope she's happy now! It was just a waste of time... Anyway, now I'm printing the other half of my poster, and that will be that. I hope.

November 10, 2002

Currently: getting bored
Doing: trying to fine mp3

So, she got online last night, not bother to call me back when she said she would, well, I guess I'm that important. But you know I'm just well.. what my writer self would write down... resign in defeat. What else to say.. I'm lost, out of the running as she would put it, even though she said that I'm not. Asking me for time, why?? She didn't need time from me, it will be too much of a promise and we can't have that, can we? A latest favor was 'Bring Me To Life' by Evanescence a song from Daredevil Soundtrack. And all she gave me was a song from the movie Daredevil. Awoman sings it, sounded a bit like Linkin Park and from that I got the title, the bandname, and she wanted me to find mp3 for her, and I'm trying... we'll see.

November 09, 2002

Guess what?!?! Today session was sparring, and so.. we did a little bit of flag tag and also blade sparring, well, the usual, Dimitri won.. But I did get both of the flags from him once!! Hey, he had been winning ever since we started, so it's about time, but anyway, I'm quite happy, even though it took getting him tired out! LOL

November 06, 2002

Currently: listening to a new song..
Doing: waiting to tape Bird of Prey

I don't watch that, but someone else does.. of course I don't even know if she still wants me to tape it and I shouldn't even be such a pushover for her anymore.. I said I'll get over it when what I wanted to say was I'll get over you. I don't think the thought has ever cross her mind that I could get over her, or even want to try. Anyway, I got 2 new kenpos today.. inter. A and B. I still need to work on the leg sweep, hawk from the front and then pull from the back, though it's really cool, I think Alex dropped for me, which is all right for now. Oh well, I need a new ear ring.. need to get this barbell one out, oh well, before the trip I suppose.

and all I need to know, is that I'm something you'll be missin

November 04, 2002

Currently: very tired, and I mean very very tired...
Doing: more of the project.

I got about 20 pieces out of the 70 pieces that I needed to do to complete the image, well, 7 pieces of those are just solid black so I actually will be doing 63 panels. It is done to impress, I guess.. hopefully when it is complete it'll still recognizable as the person I intended to be. It would be really bad if it didn't because she'll get it when it is done and went through the crit. Anyway, I'm tired, bruised and headache. Been having headche for 4 day straight.... this will just increase my usual mobidity (is there such a word??) At the moment I won't mind getting hit over the head and knock me out cold...

why don't you tell me we would never be, tell me that I'm not the one. Say that I'm just another friend, only friend. And maybe that would've been better, give me time, let me say goodbye.

November 02, 2002

'I will meet the sorrow that is mine. I know what can and cannot be.'
Allegra: Love Spell

I finally got the book that I've wanted. I had it before, a gift, but it had been returned to the original owner. Well, now I have a copy. I went to see The Ring last night with Jamie.. and wow! That was good, though I probably will only see it once, more than that it loses its charm (if you could call it that) Though the main character is quite.. um... easy on the eye. (so I like blonde blue eyes... so sue me.) I've spent today reading alternate with cutting the mattboard up.. 1 big mattboard gives me 20 8"x8" sq. so now I have 40 and I still need another 30 for this thing to complete in size.. and after that it's the dance that we all familiar with.. trying to fit things and make it work. My black gi came in, but I have no money till next week, so I told my sensei that I'll give her the money for it on Friday she said not to worry about it. She said she'll arrange for the seminar on weapon for January probably, probably sword.. I wouldn't mind learning the form for sai though.

November 01, 2002

Currently: my nose all stuffy...
Doing: trying to breathe.

I need to know if you were real
cause I've been known to get it wrong
when the memory comes
I'll say I'm always in the dark
you got me now

I want to give you back
somewhere out of here
I want to give you
I want to give you back

I can't remember how it went
you looked like everything I wanted
and as you came along
slowly everything began to change
I got you now

that's enough
just talking about it
I don't mind
I don't mind no I
laugh enough
just dreaming about it

I need to know if you were real
I'd hate to think that I've been fooled again
and as the vision fades
I'll say I was blinded by your eyes
I felt them burn

[ Vertical Horizon : Give You Back ]