December 25, 2003

I am currently out of town right now.. my internet access is needless to say.. non exist... so.. I won't be posting anything till I get home..

And yes Cin I do read the comment.. thank you for leaving them.. Hope you have a nice holiday.

December 19, 2003

Listening : Polyamorous [ Breaking Benjamin ]

Last final ended!! Yeah!!!

Finally, I can get some sleep.

Now I'm back to writing.. well, trying to anyway.. I'm too sleepy to think well about anything. I slept walked through the afternoon.. until my class.. Kevin picked up the pace real fast.. unlike Sensei Al or Stella.. he doesn't call for more than one strike at one time.. but he called them in fast succession... more than made up for it.

I'm right here, Lady B.

I'm your Faith

December 17, 2003

Complete sincerity: You believe in being
straightforward with others, and you expect the
same from them. People would consider you a
good listener, and one who is calm and mostly

Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
brought to you by Quizilla

Plug for Elphie

Final tomorrow..

December 16, 2003

Everything is done!!!

I just need to mount the damn printouts and I'm all set.. of course.. I will have to pick up the slides tomorrow and then drop them off, but that's all right, I'll have to call PRA too, so they know that I can't make it for tomorrow.. I guess I'll try on Thur after my photo history final, that might work out better.. seeing how I usually don't get out of here till late anyhow. I think I'll do that.

I need sleep.. sleep is good.. but before that.. I gotta dig out the sleeve for the slides.

Oh yeah, I got new gi.. Century demo top and pants. I looked like scarecrow in them.. I LOVE IT!!!

Ann had to fold up the sleeves for me cause you could only see the tips of my finger sticking out then she went to grab me and I practically slip right off.. LOL

The only thing was that I sweat faster in them.. cause they are medium weight.. (feels like heavy to me..) My old gi was light weight.. I'll get use to that.. and I can make, what Sensei Natalie likes to call, cool gi noises..

December 14, 2003

More snow people, more snow...

Jeez!! The winter just started.. I don't really need that much snow.. Really I don't.

I hate snow.

December 11, 2003

I got 1200 words out of 1800 that I'm suppose to do.. *sigh* well, it's only 11:41PM.. still got time, some... not much, but if I'm running dry then well.. I can have all the time in the word and still won't help.

Ok, a plug for Cin Hi! I added your link..

December 09, 2003

So, I'm starting on some searching for info on Diane Arbus and some Lewis Carroll (Alice In Wonderland) I'll start on the paper tomorrow.. 1800 words. Not so bad, I don't think.. Arno (Aestetic and Critical Study of Photography's teacher) originally wanted 6 page paper, but he figured that we might cheat by trying bigger font and stuff.. thus the amount of words instead of page.

Got some new software..

Got 4 Kata.. combo 21, 24

21 : L knife block over head, R leopard paw to the shoulder, L foot forward to the outside, R step up turn around with L hand grab the wrist, R hammer to the elbow, back fist to the head, L kick to the back of the knee spin around in spinning hook.

24: L step forward, double open hand block down, double cross hadn to the throat, rake to the face, poison thumbs.

I better get that damn notebook soon... grrrrr

December 07, 2003


God I hate snow!

Had to shovel, and it's still snowing.

Things to finish for final week
þ flash anime for web2 project and the entire site
þ CD label for 'Corpus Delicti' the 4th cd and the cover
þ 1st and 2nd CD for SS
ý Asthetic and Critical Study of Photography paper
þ CD label for 1st CD 'DULKENHEIT'
Listening : Taking Over Me [ Evanescence ]

Things to finish for final week
þ flash anime for web2 project and the entire site
þ CD label for 'Corpus Delicti' the 4th cd and the cover
þ 1st and 2nd CD for SS
ý Asthetic and Critical Study of Photography paper
ý CD label for 1st CD 'DULKENHEIT'

December 04, 2003

Listening : Half Pain [ Bana ]

Ok, it's crunch time and guess what happened. Every files that I opened on Monday during my Web2 class got corrupted!!! They fucking corrupted! And I had to dumped them.. half of my html files, half of the jpg files!

I'm pulling hair, kicking and screaming. Everything is due next week... and I'm almost done with them! And now I have to do them AGAIN!!!

December 03, 2003

Yesterday I got stuck in the traffic for say... 2 hours, when it usually takes me maybe 45 min to get to where I was going, but I got out lightly than those that left the house at 6am and got to work or wherever at 11 or 10. It was just bad all around.. Half way down I thought about turning around and then I looked over to the other side and well, it was just as bad so I kept on going..

Amazingly enough, when it started to snow people forgot how to drive.

The way back was much much better, even better than normal where I would be stuck in a bit of a traffic, I didn't at all. Hopefully it'll be better tomorrow. I was at the dojo from 4 till almost 8, cause sensei al asked if I could come in, so I did. Small classes. Today was a bigger class, but I was at school till after 5.

Anyhow.. it's crunch time!

God, I just love *sacasm* this!

December 02, 2003

A plug for Elphie! Love the color you used.. :)

And thanX.

Love Eliza.. she's cool, I think she's back home till after new year.. maybe I should take a ride out to watertown.. ummmm.... Nah... no can do, first I wouldn't know where to start, second, I have too much to do to be driving around in a town near Boston.

Oh yeah, got my second stripe.. and so.. I got my first kenpo of second degree brown today.

: Left cat, sticky hand block, lunge forward, right knife to the neck, left thrust to the rip, right ridge to the face with left hand grab the back of the head, right rake across the face, reverse hammer to the rip (solar plexus), right back fist, left palm, spinning back kick.

it's the spinning back kick that turned into the spinning side kick... it's easy to mistake them. I like spinning side kick.

I need to write down all these stuff down, I have too many to remember now.

Ann was like, she's not afraid of me doing the kenpo on her, cause I don't know the move yet and I hesitated, while sensei natalie didn't, she went into it and if she ever slip it would hurt.. Well, it will hurt I know for a fact that it will.

December 01, 2003

So long have I watched and waited.

So long have I wanted you.

Ever since that first moment, just outside of this place. You came running, afraid of being too late to save... me. How cavaliar of you, how brave, how the noble one always ready to save those in need of saving.

I could feel you then, coming right up behind me.

I can hear you, talking to your friends, running. The sounds of your heels hitting the ashalt. I didn't need you to save me, and I could feel your surprise, that there's someone that doesn't need your help.

We were introduced then, and me filling you in on my stories. I was talking, but mostly I was listening.

Listening to the things that you’ve said.

Anything, everything, always.

Always waiting in the shadow, till you needed me.

Every night waiting just on the outside, for you to come out. After the time with your friends. So blind, they are. They couldn't see. They couldn't understand the fight, the rush.

There’re just you and me, Lady B.

Just you and me.

The two disappeared into the night.

November 30, 2003

New layout, it is ... 1999 edition of The Jackal by Gil Hibben, the knife was used in StarTrek:Nemesis, as well as Buffy:tVS in season 3 by Faith.. I got got the knife in last week... thus the layout.. :) Couldn't resist.

Ok, so the clear spray didn't work, but the frisket film did. My saving grace.. I don't care as long as one thing work. I'll be printing out a bunch of stuff and also write something tonight.. after XMA show on Discovery Channel that. I'm such a dork!

Got X: Six, and I'll be getting X: Eight maybe in a day or two.. I already have Seven.. cause I was just nuts like that.. lol. Back to watching!

November 28, 2003

I got my ass well and truely kicked! By a black belt though.. oh wait, 2 black belts.. it was fun! But man I was out of breath so fast it's not even funny, got kicked in the rib too... Anyway, it'll take some getting use to, but it's ok.

Got The Jackal!!! I'm in love with that damn knife.. wooooooohooooooooooooooo...

I picked up a can of clear lacquer so I can use it on my project, we'll see how it turn out, I still need to get plastic mat so I still have to drive down to Woburn for it I think.. after all I don't think they have it at art&craft store.. Suck, I tell ya.

November 27, 2003

You are Beramode.
You were revived by a former lover, but trapped
inside his body. Yes, your situation is weird.
You have no idea who you are, where you are
from. No memory whatsoever.
Not surprising you later become the goddess/god of

What War of Genesis Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

You represent... apathy.
You represent... apathy.
You don't really show any emotion. You can be
considered cruel and cold, but you just don't
really care about anything. This is just the
way you are... you're quite a challenge to get
close to, and others may perceive you as

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

November 25, 2003

I don't feel so good, but I got my 2nd stripe. Sensei Stella said she thought I was gonna passout, and I might have.. I don't know. I was panting like a dog. Well, at least it's over now.

November 24, 2003

3 hours yesterday, Nunchuck... didn't get hit in the head, though if I did, it wouldn't hurt that much, it's a foam chuck after all. It was fun, but I was exhausted for some reason, kinda strange. I'm exhausted now, maybe it's too much sleep.. ummmmmm...

Working on a new layout, won't put it up for a while though. Still like the current one.

Tomorrow is Photo history test.

November 20, 2003

I finally got the LotR: TT. Yeah a few days later, my car's in the shop, suck. Can't go to work tomorrow.. not that they will bite my head off or anything, I just e-mail my supervisor to send me a fold so I can work from home.. I really didn't expect to be stuck home tomorrow (or rather today) I really didn't, that's why I didn't take the files with me. Otherwise I would've.

Just saw Eliza Dushku on Conan O'Brian and god she's soooooooooooooo CUTE!!! Man, I wish!

Anyway, I got myself The Jackal too.. The Griffin's look good and also the Tigershark.. I'll get them.. slowly.. baby steps. This time The Jackal.. Griffin next I'd think.

November 17, 2003


I am done with One! At 55 pages, 30904 words. And I'm writing Frail, as well as Different Light, and Two, will keep me busy.. DL is already 74 pages at 45306 words. Probably end up somewhere around 150 pages or more.. Oh well...

School sucks!

Work tomorrow, at least they said I don't have to worry about finishing up the entire site before I leave, cause that would just be too much of a pressure, I only got maybe half of the pages coded. Big sites so much to figure out... grrrrrrrrrrrrr...

November 16, 2003

Listening : Warning [ Incubus ]

Very close now, a few more pages and One will be completed. It'll be good to finish one story out of the 4 that I'm writing. I should be doing my project too.. heeeeee.. Oh well. Finally Helga got Hellsing all watched. She didn't get a lot of stuff, took a while to explain, I guess she'll have to watch it again to catch all that. Not that it's a bad thing. I love Hellsing. Can't wait for the manga. Talked to some kid last night, IMed me out of the blue and I mean out of the blue cause I don't know her she doesn't know me, she said her friend IMed me a couple of times. We chatted fanfic and manga and anime. I guess it wasn't that bad, and she didn't sound so childish like her friend, so it was good. At the same time I was on the phone.. god.. my concentration got shot to shit after that. I better get back to writing, but I wanna read too.. so that's my dilemma for the night, a good thing considering.

November 13, 2003

I'm feeling that kickboxing on Tuesday right now, not that much, but still. Chip said they dont' expect me to finish the entire website by the end of semester, cause it would be too unrealistic, which I kinda agree, but I do want to get as much done as possible, only because it would bother me. But it was nice to know, less pressure that way. I'll try though. He said he won't be in next Tue, but then I will have to be there. It's not like I should skip.

I think I'm going to finish One by this weekend. Then I will focus on Different Light after that it'll be Frail and Two at the same time. Great plan, hope I get that done.

November 11, 2003

Listening : Weak [ Skunk Anansie ]

I ended up taking that aerobic kickboxing with Sensei Stella.. ( cause she made me ) It was.. wow.. unfortunately I have a sweater on.. didn't help. I don't really have the stamina to go from karate and then to kickboxing.. so I stopped in between and stuff.. I'm such a wimp! I might start taking that, seeing how I will need to be up to it for my black belt test... and I need to build it up. It's, after all, a 6-8 hours test. I know I'll be sleeping good tonight though. :D

November 10, 2003

You are Form 9, Vampire: The Undying.

"And The Vampire was all that remained on
the blood drowned creation. She attempted to
regrow life from the dead. But as she was
about to give the breath of life, she was
consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the
cycle began again."

Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek)
and Isis (Egyptian).
The Vampire is associated with the concept of
death, the number 9, and the element of fire.
Her sign is the eclipsed moon.

As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic
individual. You may be a little idealistic,
but you are very grounded and down to earth.
You realize that not everything lasts, but you
savor every minute of the good times. While
you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you
have strong ties with people that will never be
broken. Vampires are the best friends to have
because they are sensible.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Layout plug for Elphie Love that layout!

Almost time for bed. I still have 2 more episodes of Noir vol.4 to watch. I shouldn't have put off buying them while I searched for X:Five with slip case, now that I figured there ain't no slipcase coming with it, I'm back on buying schedule.

Guess who called tonight.

Well, really, it didn't bother me if she call or not. I'm perfectly happy. It used to be that it bugged me because I didn't hear from her, and it usually me running around trying to talk to her not the other way around. Now I'm in my happy place where it doesn't bother me at all to not talk to her, it seemed to bother her that I didn't call anymore. Oh well, hope she got a taste of what it was like.

November 06, 2003

Listening : I wish I may [ Breaking Benjamin ]

I bought printed throw fleece today, the Nightmare Before Christmas one with Lock, Shock and Barrel on it. I wanted one with Jack on it, though I didn't see any. Got the vinyl wrist band with Jack's head on it.. I'm happy. I wanted that white long sleeved shirt with Jack and 'Bone Daddy' on the front with spider web on the elbow of the sleeve, but they got XL which is way too big, and then S, which is too small.. no happy medium here, they have 2 M, which I'm not sure I want (depends on the t.. some will, some will get too small) I might go back for it. Who knows. Got Noir vol. 3, I stopped buying Noir when I was looking for X:Five with slip case, now that I'm sure they don't have it, I just bought the one without and go on with Noir. I still need to get Chobits.. and also X:Six 'cause I already have X:Seven. ( don't know why I did that )

Tru Calling.. Eliza's the best!!

I love the ending of the 1st ep... her standing there in red shirt and jeans, all butch... I think I'm in LOVE!

October 31, 2003

Listening : Red Tape [ Agent Provocateur ]

This week suck @$$ beyond belief!!! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.... Ok, my bed leaked (it's waterbed) and well, so we'll have to drain it. I'm getting a new one, so it's all right, but still, it'll be next week before it arrives, so till then I'm gonna have to tough out the damn floor or couch I picked floor.. not that I've never sleep on the floor before, no big deal really, it's the aggravation. Then in attempt not to hit my aunt's car while pulling out of the driveway I knocked out the damn side mirror.. Man, I'm gonna stay inside and make no move to go out at all till the next month (I actually said that I'd crawl into the corner and sleep till next month, but then my uncle pointed out to me that it's tomorrow) Let's see what else can happen.

October 22, 2003

Listeining : You're So Last Summer [ Taking Back Sunday ]

I think I'm gonna call in tomorrow and tell them I'll work from home. I don't feel good for the past couple of days, the thought of me going into the place and stare at list of files that more or less make no sense to me for 4 hours isn't a good one. I did feel the headache on Tue and I felt like I wanna rip my arm out and bang my head with it. It was that bad. Just took some painkiller hopefully that'll help me get to sleep at least.
Don't know what the hell I've been doing, I mean, I got sleep, well, some, and I tend to wake up at ungodly hour and then tried to get back to sleep when I realized that I'm not suppose to get up yet. That did not help. I skipped class yesterday, went in today, Cat was there, Alex was there, Al was there (though it didn't make much different, I can't take him down, point of him coming in twice a week just not clear to me) Katie's mom gave me a bag of chocolate, she said I've been a big help on Sunday, they wouldn't know what to do. Surprised the hell out of me, let me tell ya.

Nice people.

I just didn't want Katie or Josh went all cry baby in the middle of it, and leave before they get to do anything. At least they had fun.

Midterm on friday, and I remember jack!

This is not good, not good at all.

October 20, 2003

I had to get up at 8 on Sunday morning! It was the damn tournament, you know thing just sorta sneak up on you when you least expected it. There was midterm review, which went pretty well, if I can go by the indication that I got from the group, but then I don't really know, sometimes it was up to the mood of the instructor. Which suck majorly.

Ok, tournament...

I got there around 9, walked around for a while, seemed like they weren't being too organized.. I'm thinking that they were trying to keep people there for as long as possible, because the big crowd usually from the kid's parents, and so, if you finished the kids stuff early then they would all be gone in a blink of an eye. Thus they mixed it up, it was like controlled chaos.

I didn't place in kata.. I slipped and I didn't bother to restart, just wanted to get it over with, seeing how I've only had brown belt for now even a month yet, a complete new form and all that. One of the black belt that was judging was saying if I would only slow down a little. Which I could understand, I got used to Sensei Stella telling us to go from 1 pinan.. ( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ) then kata ( 1, 2, 3 ) then The Crane and such.. so there were 10 forms also to go through in a short period of time.. naturally you go through them fast.

Sensei Stella said she was watching and I did good, she also saw me slip a little. Damn hardwood floor.


That was sweet! I took 1st place.

People tend to use their legs and not hands too much, kicks got in easier and from distance I guess that was why. So, I normally got real close and use hands, I don't back up. And I pretty much just shot out in a front to knuckle to the face or back fist and that's that. Of course one girl just came right into it and so I hit her in the mouth, but then she kicked me in the arm and upper thigh so it's even.

We all took 1st place in sparring, all Sensei Al's nieces and nephews..

I got ther at 9 and left at 3:30, starved.

Now I'm just tired.

October 16, 2003

Listening : Fall into You

Midterm review is done and over with. I've been busting my ass trying to get as much done as possible and it seemed like I had the most done out of all of them. Weird really. But we started late, like 2 weeks late into meeting with the advisor, but of course they wanted us to catch up where they lack of. I mean, come on, unfair much? Anyway, I got both cd packages mocked up and everything. The only thing missing from the second one was the insert, which will be all right, now I'll have to come up with the other 2 cd and quick. Everyone likes the bloodpack. That was a bit of mess to make. I'll have to go get the gloss cd label too.. brightwhite worked with Blind Spot, but not Dunkelheit... oh well, more work, but I'm gonna relax for the next couple of days. Got through level2 of Chaos Bleeds, took me so long cause I can't handle the headache.. gotta go slow and since the midterm thing I've been killing myself over it and had to lay off the playing. Now, the next thing, I need to get usb mini storage. Sandisk cruzer I think.. see if I have the money. (I do, it just... well, I'm quite reluctant to pay.. LOL)

October 11, 2003

Saw trailer for LOTR:ROTK. That was awesome! I can't wait for the movie to come out! I have to get back to my SS midterm review stuff now. YUCK!

October 03, 2003

Listening : In Memory [ Shinedown ]

Midterm is in 2 weeks, at least I got some stuff done and I had been working, otherwise it would've been like last semester and it wasn't pretty... nope, not at all. I meet with my advisor every week and then I have a goal for next week, a good thing in deed, cause I wouldn't know where to start. I've been working at PRA as an intern. A part of my class, I needed 1 practicum.. and it was more or less just luck on my part, I just want to get this over with. It turned out better than I thought it would. They are quite flexible with the things I do.

I got Fuffy reductive conversion illustration done.. (ok, the image) I'll be doing smaller version for Oralfxatn soon, well, this weekend. Tomorrow I'm suppose to be going to Charette with Karen, we'll see if she calls back. I'm sleepy, been at the dojo all afternoon, mostly judging the sparring.. Think I'm gonna get some shut eye, or lay down for a while.. after that I probably come back on and write.. LOL. What else is new.

September 28, 2003

Listening : And All That Could Have Been [ NIN ]

I saw Cold Creek Manor.. kinda disappointed. Though I never did have much expectation going into a movie, learned a long time ago that high expectation was never really met, as long as I enjoy it, it's all good. Anyway, it would've been a good movie if they give more history where it is due. But they didn't, it's a big leap we gotta make while watching and assuming, maybe it was just me, I'm not sure.

She called tonight. I didn't expect it to be here, I really did not. I didn't really care that she doesn't call, cause I'm not calling her. I had my slips a few times, but then I remember why and I hung up. I don't know if she notice that I don't talk about anything important with her, nothing with content, nothing that you have a conversation over, just small talk and a lot of babbling, and she usually just listen. Maybe she did notice, but considered it a good thing when I didn't tell her to fuck off and hung up. I don't know. This is not really working, but I guess as long as I'm still here it was all good in her world.

Psy said it was probably because I miss her, and yes I do miss her. I just could not do what I've done for almost 5 years, be her doormat.

Occasionally I just wanna move to some island that has no one else just me and my computer and internet connection.

'if death is my gift, then can I return it?'

September 21, 2003

Listening : Forever Love [ X ]

I got my brown belt, 3rd degree brown. Man, was that nerve wracking. I got everything though, except that I forgot leopard tech, I have 2 of each 5 animals, and well, actually 3 of dragon, 3 of leopard and the rest I have 2, Shihan wanted to see only 1 of each. I'm suppose to be doing a lot of things, but I just felt tired today and I mean, my head is on the verge of pounding headache and migraine.. not pretty. I should sketch something down, I really should.. and I will.. later tonight or tomorrow.. I'll spend all tomorrow catch up with everything. Black Sunday.. LOL

September 17, 2003

Listening : Terrible Lies [ NIN ]

I went to PRA and only took 1 wrong turn. Could've been worse, on the way back was pretty bad though, I spent 4 hours there, checking everything didn't get the chance to upload before I had to split, otherwise i would've been stuck in traffic. As it was, it took me longer than it should to get back, got food, run out again. So, I'll be busy 5 days a week and not 3. This friday I'll be at the dojo from 3:30 till 8 probably, Rec department, then belt test. I'll be 3rd degree brown! Yeah!!

September 14, 2003

I'm Buffy
Which Sarah Michelle Gellar are you? Find out!

YAY!  I'm Buffy!
Which Female Buffy Character are you? Find out!
Ok, I went to see 'The Kiss' and I have 2 words.

Eliza Dushku

Oh my god!

It was the premiere of the movie, the writer was there.. and a few other people, but she's wasn't there. It was a really small crowd anyway, I think that they should've promote it more. The movie was good, cause she was in it a lot! It wasn't my type of movie, but I wouldn't mind getting it on dvd or something.

Ok, now, writing and the reductive conversion thing.. I'm almost done with the image, all I have to do is figure out size and then print them out for the cutting.. oh yeah and matboard too. It'll be a while yet, but it'll look good!

September 12, 2003

Listening : Strenght [ X OST ]

Went to Boston, got a cd, 'Your Eyes Only' Chobits illustration book. 2 books that I'll read later. I'm working on another piece of reductive conversion illustation.. (thats what my instructor called it) This one will be Fuffy! Will be a while before that done though.. I have to do it from 2 images, adjust and all that. 1 class for tomorrow.. Still have to get up though.. never a good thing. I'll do some stuff for PRA later and then play around with it, see how it looks I'll be going in on Tue and then we'll be doing some stuff I guess.. I don't know.

September 10, 2003

Listening : Awakening [ The Damning Well ]

So I got that intern position. I think I'm the only one that inquired about that, and after they looked through my resume and then my portfolio, they decided to take me before I even show up. Which is good I wanna get this over with. They are pretty flexible too, which is a plus. So, I went to my advisor and had him sign the override form so I can register for that course. I shouldv'e done it over the summer when I registered for the classes, except I didn't cause I didn't think I was going to do it this semester. I was a bit late, but anyway, I got this... unexpectedly, and it'll get done with.

Talked to her last night, I thought I was gonna drop dead this afternoon, I was that tired.. she f**king call me at 3 am! Anyway, maybe we're back to being friends, maybe not, I don't care right now.

'as I watch the world descend like stars'

September 07, 2003

I wanted to believe as I
watch your world crumble in your hand
I wanted to believe as you
raise the glass to your last dance
and I wanted to believe you'd win
the war in your head that I did not understand
I did not understand...

September 05, 2003

Listening : Forever Gone, Forever you [ Evanescence ]

School started on Tue, I have no class on Tue and Thr. Went in on Wed, first day back and already I hated it. The class that I might enjoy is probably Wed Design 2, the teacher that was originally designated to teach the class isn't there anymore so they assigned someone else, mere hour before the class actually start. Nice huh. Anyway, at least there is someone, it would really suck if they have to cancel it.

At the same day I also got a call from this place that I e-mail about internship position. I didn't expect to get anything back, cause it was way late and I have every intention to just put it off for another semester, but they called me, saying that they didn't really look for people either, but their website needed someone to maintain and I e-mail them. so I set up to go in and look around next week on Tue. I didn't tell anyone about this yet.

Pao had been calling like, once every night now.. last night I was asleep, and I told her as much, she was all like.. no! She fucking fall asleep on me while talking to me.. what the fuck! And she won't get off the subject of her boyfriend ex-girlfriend either, I don't know what that was about. I agreed that the girl was well, not the nicest one to look at. And she said she didn't care, but she kept talking about it, won't get off the subject, it's not like I didn't agree with her. Oh well... I don't mind talking to her, but when she stuck on one subject like that I'm a little reluctant to stay on the line. I'll be seeing her in class on Monday anyway.. she has a class with me, so I'll be seeing her 3 times a week, if she will show up for friday class. Otherwise it's 2. I'll have to remember to type up the short paragraph for asthetic and critical study of photography tomorrow.

September 02, 2003

Listening : Down In The Lab [ Renholder ]

School tomorrow, well, technically, it's today, but I don't have any classes on tu and th.. so there's no need for me to show up. I'll try to go to bed early, but well, we'll see how that one goes. 3 classes including the SS, which I migth need to repeat 802 class, well, it's more than just a probability, but do I care? No, not right now. I'm sick of those people. Hopefully I'll get an advisor that I can actually work with. Don't really like any of them.

August 30, 2003

Listening : Understanding [ Evanescence ]

Got my bo today, figure he would get it in the day I didn't have my money with me. It costed more than the regular one, this one is graphite, in metallic blue, matches my sparring gear. It's real smooth (it suppose to be) thus there won't be worry of getting splinter in my hand. It is slightly lighter than the wooden one, or maybe because I've been using the longer ones, so it felt lighter, after all the other ones were 6ft. this one is 5ft, I wanted one that is closer to my height, the longer ones kept hitting the top of my feet when I do the salutation in the beginning and end.

Talked to mom and dad tonight, he was asking what was I saying on the answering machine, and I explained to him, and also translated. He said he spent all this money on me to be here, gotta be able to teach him something, and well, for everything they've done for me, I'm eternally grateful. He also asked about the MD player/rec unit that he has.. I would recomment that he read the handbook, except it would be in Japanese and English, so I tried to just get him from A to B, explaining things to him in between, he figure it'll be easier to just do what he has been doing.. LOL. I'm impatient when it comes to explaining things, and I feel bad, they are my parents, they are so good to me it's insane, spoiled me rotten too. I wanna kick myself everytime I get snappy with them, though mostly it's at my mom when she played 20 question with me, well, they don't do that often now, I've learned to shut the hell up when I get aggravated with them too. And I'd never say this to them love you guys.

Had a chat with Psy the other night, she was mentioning that SB had been loading more stuff.. she mentioned Rose of Versailles, I said I have all 40 something ep of it on vcd, which I honestly thought I mentioned it to her (I think I did to SB) she asked if I could dub some ep for her, I said sure. She still gotta give me a list for that. And I'll probably throw in a few other stuff. I have to get WHR soon, maybe next week, after I get done with books. *

August 28, 2003

Listening : So Fortunate [ Adema ]

We got new student today, the guy came in to watch the class and Sensei Al asked if he wanted to jump in and try it out, so he did, and we went through the warm up and all that, Cat is back today too.. I'm glad she's back, she has a lot to catch up. After all she's been going up in rank with me ever since I caught up with her at purple belt. Sensei Al said it's good to have someone to go up in rank with, so he'll see if she couldgo up with me to brown, however he'll put me up by myself if he had to, this is in case she had to stop coming due to her knees and back (and ankles) She already took a month long break from it (her mom said she's been bouncing off the wall), so now she'll have to get 2 forms.. which I got the first week after I got the new belt, 4 combinations, 2 kenpos... well, a lot to catch up on, but hopefully she'll get there quick, it'll be fun. Anyway, after class, sensei al went and asked the new guy if he liked the class, he asked where to sign up. So, I guess he liked the class. I'm getting my Bo tomorrow.. it'll be metallic blue.. *

August 27, 2003

Got LotR : TT, I'm gonna watch it now.. I love the battle scene.. I LOVE the battle scene.

Plug for Elphie, before I venture off to the writing and movie XD

August 26, 2003

Saw Cat on Sunday at B&N, she'll be back to class this week, she said or trying to anyway, she said she missed it. Well, her mom said the same thing and how she needed to get back, 'cause she's been bouncing off the wall. I might be getting Sleeping Beauty Trilogy written by Anne Rice ( A.N. Rogueclare ) but then I'll need to get book for school, probably only 1 book, seeing how I'm taking a class that probably gonna need the same book as the one before, but then you never know. My Bo won't be in I guess, we'll see how much it cost. LotR: TT coming out tomorrow.. YES!!

xtra kenpo : left palm block across, right front ball landed behind, front to knuckle punch upward (to the chin) backward elbow to the back, pivot to the rear double thrust to the kidneys.

: left black down, right ridge to the temple (in circle, 10 point blocking #8) grabbed the back of the head, knee in the gut, ridge underneath the arm with left, push with right hand, ridge upward with left (cowboy throw)

: left knife hand block upward, punch to the rib, bend over, left hand grabbed the arm, throw over the shoulder with elbow at the groin.

August 22, 2003

Some of the ugliest things took the longest time to make
And some of the easiest habits are the hardest ones to break
And I'm not asking for value nor the pain but I am asking
For a way out of this lie

Because I can't wait for you to catch up with me
And I can't live in the past and drown myself in memories

Welcome to nowhere and finding out where it is
And fixing your problems and starting over agin
Your feeding your ego with what you can see outside
And your killing yourself for not speaking your mind

In memory

I wonder why you make believe you live your life straight through me
I cannot understand why you question me and then you lie
I will not justify your way's I cannot show you an escape
I do not know you any more, I never new you anyway

In memory

[ Shinedown | In Memory ]

August 21, 2003

I was looking for Small Soldier, and guess what none of the places has it. I'm willing to bet that the place in the mall would have it, but then I'm not paying that much for a dvd, when I can probably get it in either Bestbuy or Circuit City or Wal-mart for a lower price, besides, I can always order it only which is what I'm doing. I'm cheap like that. But I still have to get Hellsing : Search and Destroy. Oh I have the whole thing, this is the second time I'm buying the whole thing, because I don't want to call HER up and tell her to send me my dvd, cause I know it'll be a waste of time. She'll give me some bullshit and I'd never see them again. So I'm cutting out all the aggravation by getting them all over again. Funny thing is, she IMed me tell me to call, for the second damn time and guess what, nothing, nope, zip. I should've learned my lesson, but noooooooo... Oh well...

'look here she comes now bow down and stare in wonder oh how we love you no flaws when you're pretending but now i know'

August 19, 2003

Listening : Girls and Boys [ Blur ]

I went to see Freaky Friday, I loved it! Well, I like Linsey Lohan since Parents Trap, thought she was pretty good for someone so young. She can sing, too. It was fun, and well, I'll get that on dvd, and also Bend It Like Beckham. I've been redoing the layout of Slayers' Dreams I still like the old layout it just that, it's about time to change. And Oralfxatn got her very own webpage, late last night.. wohooooooooo I got my Fuffy fix.. hehehe it is Orally Fixated: Humor Heart & Heat I'm a happy camper.

'Her pillow, her she-pup... My Queen.' Faith in Christopher Street West

August 16, 2003

Listening : Better Version [ Shinedown ]

I e-mail Oralfxatn, after looking for the story I mentioned in the last post and she e-mailed me back! And explained to me why the stories were gone from AFF. Which mean I did not imagine the whole thing.. TOLD YOU! She's gonna have her very own website, which I'm very much looking forward to visiting. She also read my stuff and enjoyed them, left me comments, too! Make my day let me tell you, that just make my day.

Elphie got a new layout, I know I forgot to plug it earlier. I kept counting the toes, LOL, don't know why.

August 15, 2003

Listening : Taking Over Me [ Evanescence ]

Two nights ago I was going through a fanfic archive site, and I found a story, it's the 5th part of The Incredibly (un)True Adventure of Two Slayers In Love series, I read the first 4 and it's hilarious, so I sat and read, and once I was done I went ahead and look through the rest of the list.. thinking that I'll come back and reread again, wouldn't be too hard to find since it was in the beginning of the list, once I was done with the rest I went back, first page, nothing, second page, nothing, third page, still nothing.. so I went through half of it (51 pages in all) and still nothing, and to top that off I couldn't find the first 4 either when the first time around I found the first 4 right after the 5th, so I went to search and searched by both the titles and the author, still nothing, look through author list, nothing. It was like the entire thing got pull out the minute I was done reading!! It was just freaky, I'm still looking for it, and I went through the other site that I knew the first 4 was listed, found a different story by the same author, but no part 5.. I guess I better e-mail her..


'I said CLAIM her, not TAME her!!' Janine to Buffy in Christopher Street West

August 11, 2003

Listening : Going Under [ Evanescence ]

This is how my day went today.. I woke up at 1, stayed in bed till 1:30, cause I got into bed after 5:30 AM this morning. Then I got a shower, came out, white t and everything, found that it was pouring out. So I changed from white to black, hauled ass out to the dojo, and Sensei Natalie was running out to walmart, cause she wasn't sure what time I was coming in, and so I went with her. We came back to the dojo, she looked at my 4 and 5 pinan, did all right, after that I was there till 8:30, came home, starved, sticky, so it's food, shower and American Chopper on Discovery channel, I love that show.. of course I watch any show with building things. And now it's catching up with reading and writing time.

advance c : half moon up with the right, knife block (left) spear hand (right) to the groin, palm (left) to the face, grab the neck, pull back, knee (left), elbow (right) grab by the hair, pull back, bear paw to the face. (just in case I forget)

draw back to a cat (left), fortress block (with ridge hands) left vertical, right horizontal, shuffle up, knife to the collar bone (left) knife to the body (right), grab the back of the neck (left) elbow to the face, knife to the neck (right) palm to the face (left) back to knuckle to the solar plexes.

I'll forget those in well, a day, so I gotta write it down while I can, somewhere. I think I should start with the notebook thing already, I already forget most of shushi no kon-sho. Guess I can do that with the book, since John let me borrow his.

August 10, 2003

Listening : My Last Breath [ Evanescence ]

I started watching Knight Hunters well, only 2 ep out of the whole set.. Got the thing the other day, perfect collection, well, save me time instead of going out and get it one by one anyway. The other night driving back from Sensei Natalie's I saw a deer ran across the damn road.. well, it was the road that in the middle of the damn residental area, right here, I didn't think there will be any running around, seeing how it's all houses, didn't run it over or anything. My aunt woke me up today to go to some b-day party, I didn't even know about and so I basically stayed in bed till she left, and she called and I told her I don't wanna go, so she got pissy. Whatever, I wasn't gonna drive 30 min to someone's house, and get completely bored and it's not like they would care if I don't show up, so I didn't care to go, besides I did stain the damn deck, can't bitch at me for that. I felt light headed over and over again, think I'm getting sick.. my thumb is killing me too.. the damn joint lock.. LOL.

August 09, 2003

I just got back from Sensei Natalie's house. She called me earlier today, while I was still asleep, mind you. She called upstairs and my uncle told her that I was still asleep and he didn't want to wake me up, so she called my cellphone, figured she would leave a message and I picked up.. well, I wasn't going to, but then I saw it was her so I did. Then she asked if I could come over and I said it was fine, not that I'm doing anything anyway, the only thing on the agenda today was sparring and that was done by 7:30. I got there and stayed till 11:30, and I just got back now. I worked on the pictures for her, (adjust the color and the brightness and such) so Monday she'll work with me for a private lesson. I don't really care about that, but she wasn't going to make me drive up there and work on the thing for nothing so I said ok. Anyway, I'm starving, but hey I'll get some food, after shower though I feel so sticky.

August 08, 2003

Listening : Angel

New layout, finally. I know, I know.. I'm a little obsessed over SMG, but hey I did 2 of Eliza D. in a role I figure, it couldn't hurt to do 2 SMG. Besides I couldn't find any image that I really like and I need a new layout. I'm happy with this layout (I think.)

Went to see Bend It Like Beckham last night, I loved that movie!! It was funny! I liked Keira Knightly a lot more now.. well, last was Pirates of the Caribbean.. I'm getting it on dvd when it comes out, and I wouldn't mind seeing it again before that. Now I wanna see Freaky Friday. I'm going to the movie more now, by myself, probably because I get sick of having to ask people, and wait. I hate waiting even though I have the patience. The thing was that, I waited and then end up didn't get to see it, so point of waiting is? Anyhow... I don't care much, I'll go by myself, wait for no one.

I scanned in one of the drawing I did a long time ago.. here

Plug for Elphie nice color!

August 03, 2003

I did another drawing of SMG it's from the same as the first one, except I only wanted line drawing for the first one, no shading and I shaded this one. It's also a bit bigger.

Did nothing today, just read, yeah I've been reading a lot, and also writing too, make me happy. ^_^

July 31, 2003

Listening : You're So Last Summer [ Taking Back Sunday ]

I got 4 and 5 Pinan, and 3 combinations.. I remember both form from the beginning to end, but the combinations.. I only remember 2 out of 3, which is not bad considering I got it today. Earlier my friend asked how was my karate class.. and well, I told her I got 1 more form.. (that was before class today) she said that's it? I was like what do you mean, that's it? So I told her, so far I have 8 katas (including tonight it's 9) 16 combinations, 15 kenpos, 12 of the animal tech, 5 different tech for each grabs.. (front, back, wrists 1 and 2 hands, lapels) 2 bear hugs, variations of headlock, fullnelson.. variations of defense against club and knife.. what do you mean that's it?! I told her she should come see the class sometimes.. though I knew for certain that she wouldn't even jump in, she has this thing about not getting hurt.. Guess I shouldn't have showed her the bruises.. but then you conditioning yourself, ya know.

The muscle I pulled felt better now, but I still need to be careful while doing push up. I'm thinking of a new layout for the blog and also a notebook for all my karate stuff.. I know if I don't do it often I'll forget, and well, I better write it down, I guess. I saw Tomb Raider last night, I loved it! Loved the ending.. ^_^. Just how cocky he was being, I was so glad she didn't let him get out of there. 'nough spoiler... I can't wait for Underworld though.

July 28, 2003

Think I pulled a muscle in my tricep.. and right now it hurts like hell, the sad part is I have no idea how that happen. That in and of itself is weird, that push up didn't help either, think I just hurt myself even more, gotta be careful for the next week doing anything with my left arm I guess.

Things are quiet lately, just a lot of reading and writing for me. Well, a lot more writing than I've managed in the last 2 semesters. I finished painting the damn swing set too. At the beginning of the summer my aunt asked if I go anywhere, and that she want me to paint the shed, I thought it doesn't take the entire summer to do it and even if I decided to go anywhere later on (not that I am) then after that it's the house then the damn pool deck and the swing set.. I'm waiting for another one.. the porch, oh year.. she kept telling me to do it and not even look outside, even when it rain. I told her it was raining she went ahead and asked if I did it. She couldn't seem to understand that these things take time to set and dry, not like I can slap it on and leave for 5 min and then it'll be all ready to use. God.. it's not a hard concept.

July 27, 2003

Got my belt, now I'm a green/stripe. Cool, so now the actual killing begins. I didn't go see Tomb Raider yet, I will on Monday night I guess, I really hate dealing with kids especially in the theater so I go during the time where normal kids would be in and not out and about. Well, I should get my butt back to writing.. it's raining!!!

July 25, 2003

Listening : The Leaving Song Pt. 2 [ AFI ]

I've been reading Buffy xover, and well, I found lots of B:tVS/HP a lot of them, wonder why, but then I've only been looking on 1 site, so it could be that there are a hell of a lot more other series xover than just with HP, well, I'm not so incline to look that hard, I prefer B/F pairing anyhow. Now off the fanfic topic. Tomorrow afternoon, belt test (evening really) I'll be green/stripe. It'll be sensei Lenny and Donna I think and after that we'll get Shihan Novelty.. scary man if he wanted to be. I'm a bit nervous about the test, after all, I 've been on this belt a while.. as I should.

After test tomorrow I'll go see Tomb Raider : The Cradle of Life. I can't wait, think I've seen more movie right now, only because I don't bother waiting for people to go with me anymore, a lot of time I miss the movie while it's in the theater because of it, so I decided that if I wanna see something I'll just go myself, who cares. (yeah I know I got no friends that I can drag places) Sometimes I prefer it, cause there's no negotiation, no arguing on which to see and which not to see. No one complains when the movie I picked sucked!

I should get my butt back to writing.

July 22, 2003

Listening : Half Pain [ Bana ]

My left upper arm hurts a bit, I was doing one of the techniques, one that I wouldn't use against anyone who is taller than me, it's kinda hard to get that close and fast enough to stop their swing before it comes down, takes timing (something I don't have as of yet) and also leverage that required me to be a bit taller.. then again if I can make it work for me, well, it'd be great, if not I have other ones to fall back to.

I'm writing, yeah, kinda hard to believe... well, for Innocence Lost anyway, I've been writing Different Light. I kinda have the outline for both down, but it'll need some fine tuning. Actually IL is a collaboration, between me and her, but now that it's over, it's not possible anymore. Not that it was different from before, I think the only reason she was so adament about me doing it with her was jealousy, she was afraid that I'd write it with Psy. Truth is, I should've. So, now I started a project that basically wasn't something I would've done, not right now anyway, only because it'd be such a waste on a really good characters and storyline. Yeah well, shoot me.

Anyway, those 2 and another Uber one. Vampy, Lycans, Psychic, on my.

Belt test, Friday... T minus 4 days.

July 17, 2003

Listening : The Downward Spiral ( the Bottom ) | NIN

I got my ring (s) today. The 'one ring' I asked my dad to have it made, and well, they couldn't figure out how to etch the inscription on the inside without ruining it when made into a ring, so I told them forget the inside as long as the outside look good I'm happy. He went ahead and had the second ring made with the second line etched on the outside.. God I love my parents. I could buy the damn ring, of course, I just want it hand made, not machine. And these are definitely handmade.. I've watch them done, and I could just see it. Anyway, I don't have the pay for it.. for 2 rings 18K with the carving. Not bad.

Stained the entire pool deck, it's done, they should stop bugging me now.. what's left is the house itself, though I vaguely remember uncle George saying he'll do the rest himself.
Hit my head on the way down today, so now it's migrain.. suck but I'll live. Got a big ass splinter in my knuckle from staining the deck yesterday too.. I think I took it all out, but I don't know. I have belt test on the 25th. Cat is on the same test too, but I'm not sure if she can go on it, she hurts her knee last week. Hopefully she'll be all right.

Isn't it funny, I got an IM waiting for me while I was out painting (that's all I've been doing anyway) and it said to call in an hour. Now that we are not friends, I don't know if we ever were, or I was just a doormat, it sure sounded like someone is not acknowledge that little fact that I don't want this anymore. Repeating the 'I love you, I miss you' ain't gonna help when I knew better. Sure she loves me, if that is true why am I always the last in line, everyone else on this god forsaken place came before me. Even some flimsy co-worker that she called friend whom she knew no more than a month came before me. Me, the one she knew for 4 years, did everything for her and be there when she needed. And I'm the one that last in line. No more though. I'm done being in any line at all. Happy that way.

After all the rambling, I gotta plug for Elphie Willow is cool!

July 15, 2003

Saw LXG, and well, I liked it a lot. Peta Wilson was cool, especially the scene that she leaped up and started with those snipers. Bats!!! It was fun, I liked that movie, I tend to like the movies with the cartoon undertone.. it's like escaping. (well, I watch them to escape, kinda deal, entertain and not think, you know.. ) The same thing with reading, do it so I won't have to think. I can do with other people's imagination for a while, before get back to my own and use it.

I'm writing, yes I am. Just not Talia/Susan, it's Buffy/Faith (Fuffy they called?) It's actually an A/U (uber) I used Faith and then Kathryn Merteuil from Cruel Intentions, then twisted it and spinned it. It's fun.

July 12, 2003

Listening : Skin [ Adema ]

I saw Pirates of the Caribbean, I liked it, a lot. Johnny Depp was great, Olando Bloom was great, the girl was cute ( gotta figure out her name, I'll look that up later ) I'll go see L.X.G. later next week I think, probably Tue. Had a conversation with Psy, haven't talked to her so it was great, but I might've bored her out of her mind, I don't know.

Got another nasty looking bruise on my right arm again. Well, the old ones healed now got a new one. It hurts a bit, but you live and learned and got used to it. ^_^ I've heard of the more traditional style where it's full contact, no padding, and conditioning, which just painful. I mean we punched and made contact, but not full force, not to hurt, block is what I usually get the bruise from. Well, gotta love it.

Think I'll dub Noir for Psy, and maybe X. When I get the time and money for it.

July 10, 2003

45 minutes of me alone in class with sensei Stella.. nice huh. It's like a private lesson, well, it's not like it's the first time.. the first was one Saturday and it was just me and Sensei Natalie. We went through the Bo form.. of course I don't remember jack again.. I remember a bit of it, but not enough, I won't be needing it till I'm a brown belt going for black, but Sensei Natalie would give it at green belt if we show up often enough and I certainly show up enough. Cat got hurt yesterday, didn't really see how, but I was there, I guess Elizabeth went down and took her down too. It's her knee, she should've worn her knee braces, still, but hell the way she had to sit and stuff I can see why she didn't want to.

Pirate of Caribbean, I'll see that maybe next week, I'd rather not have to deal with a bunch of kids if I could.

July 08, 2003

Karen came over today to work on her wedding album, we got a few pages done, she was telling me that it's one of the life time thing, so I asked if she had seen Hope Floats and refered to the scene where Sandra Bullock started working at the 1h photo place and the machine screwed up the film and the print, so 1 of the rolls came out with nothing but black, then her highschool class mate who was the one that dropped it off was throwing hissy fits, saying how it was one of the life time deal that they are not replacable, then Birdy (SB character) told her there will be another time since this was like her 4th marriage.. then her friend hiss, it's her 5th, but they all have different theme.. I thought that was really funny. I didn't see that movie valuntarily, we wanted to see movie and it was the only one that was there at that time, so we saw it. Not that bad, just that I wouldn't have seen it otherwise.

Learned new kenpo, no name though, and be reminded of the quick hand one and the other one that Sensei Lenny taught us one night after sparring, the one ones that got them were me, Cat, Dmytry. I got the basic ideas, but I forgot the details.. like where the hand actually go, stuff like that. I should get a notebook for this, I think I will.

'I don't want a thing from you bet you're tired of me, waiting for the scraps to fall off of your table to the ground'

July 07, 2003

As black as the night can get
Everything is safer now
There's always a way to forget
Once you learn to find a way how

In the blur of serenity
Where did everything get lost?
The flowers of naiveté
Buried in a layer of frost

The smell of sunshine
I remember sometimes

Thought he had it all before they called his bluff
Found out that his skin just wasn't thick enough
Wanted to go back to how it was before
Though he lost everything
Then he lost a whole lot more

A fool's devotion
Swallowed up in empty space
The tears of regret
Frozen to the side of his face

The smell of sunshine
I remember sometimes

I've done all I can do
Could I please come with you?
Sweet smell of sunshine
I remember sometimes

[ NIN | I'm Looking Forward to Joining You, Finally ]

July 06, 2003

Hung out with Bona, haven't seen her for a while and guess what, she took my ring! The samd damn ring that Chris had been eyeing for over three years, she used to take them off of my finger and then saying how they fit her pinkie, but they were my mom's so she wouldn't take them, though if she did I wouldn't have cared. They were my mom's but not the way she thought, anyway, Bona has one of them now, I'll get it back, next time I see her.

Saw Saiyuki, finally, liked it. I know what the general characters base off of... At least Goku, god I miss that series, even though I don't remember the title. Saw it a long time ago. .

July 05, 2003

Ok, I hate arguement, confrontation, if I didn't say it before I'll say it now. Anyway, that just reminded me of one time someone said to me 'isn't that a bit confrontational?' and I nearly fall off my chair laughing. Me? Confrontational? Never, and I'm not saying that in sacastic way either. I'm the least confrontational person you'll ever meet. Anyway, trouble, but then I'm over it. I have the urge to go out and get movie. I want to get Buffy season 2 and 3, not necessarily in that order. I'm not interested after season 3. I'm gonna go read Alichino.. If I can get it in the right order that is. .

July 04, 2003

You are Matsulika. You embrace the inherent evil
in your species and take pleasure in
manipulating all that you feel are lesser than
you. You have no pity, you have no empathy, and
you have no morals. You are simply evil.

Manga- What Alichino Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Saw T3, I liked it, a lot. I won't post anything, in case some didn't see it yet. Nice actions, nice explosives, nice destructions, my type of thing. ^_^

There were only 3 people in class today, of course, people tend to slack of things like this during summer. So there was this guy Allen (whom I don't really like to work with) Elizabeth, Cat went to see the movie.. So we were practicing, then Sensei Al came with this thing that during the class at anytime he might call out.. push up, sit up and stuff we'll have to stop what we were doing and drop and give him 20. We did like a set of 75-100 of each thing before class already, but anyway, you do what you're told. That's just how it is.

I read something the other day, about how a lot of the dojo are dropping the kata from their lessons, because they see no point of it. And I don't agree with that, though we're not. Kata are good, they help us practice the defence in the perfect senario. Block hard, strike hard, be acurate and you don't need a partner whom might get hurt if you get too close and punch as hard as you need to (or block) I just thing traditions are good, thousand years of practice, it can't be wrong.

Helga is in her Buffy kick right now.. she watch through the entire season 7. Now I can discuss the end with her, cause she'd seen it. I was telling her about the nickname that Faith gave each of them and she was like 'oh, German translation didn't really give that' Well, I'm glad I still have someone I can talk to about these things.

July 03, 2003

A phone called earlier today, it was Karen, she wanted to know if I can go with her to pick up some stuff for her wedding album, we planned to go on Thursday, but I guess she already clear her work early on today so she wanted to get it over with, so I went, took a look at what she had done, which basically organized the photos and put them in, but she wanted to decorate it, make it look more interesting, figure I could give her ideas, well, I guess graphic design students like us gotta do something more, can't just leve it plain. She said everyone that looked at it before me said it looked good, and here I was telling her that it was plain, which she had been saying to everyone else.

We picked up a few things, I never realized they have that kind of thing (tiny little flowers, wedding dress, tux, silver/gold fork and knife, stars etc.) They were for greeting card (make it yourself) So she picked up a few things. I told her she should draw something for the corners with gold pen (not every corners mind you) but she refused, afraid she might ruin it. I doubt she will, but then she kept saying she can't draw. Oh well, I would offer to do it for her, cause I think a little vile and stuff would look good.. didn't even have to just draw it, can just trance.. and we could use pencil then trance over with gold or silver pen, but nah.. if she wanted me to do it for her she'll ask.

So I had late lunch with her (more like she's watching and I ate. She's vegetarian, not much she can order in resturant.) Then I went right in for karate, we got some older guy signed up last week, he came in. 2 women came in to watch the class, and they left in the middle. Cat was off a little today I think, she usually can take me down, with me going down for her, but today, I didn't resist or anything she couldn't. The fact that she kicked a little too high didn't help, she kicked right just below my knee, and so I would more likely to kneel over and not fall back. Had to put the shin guards on for that (backward.) We'll do better tomorrow.

I'm gonna pick a new picture to draw, gotta keep it sharp. I like doing things with my hand, maybe that's why I respect people that work with their hands much much more (notice I like watching people work, building things.. that's why I like watching the motorcycle special in discovery channel, American Chopper, Motorcycle Mania, Birth of V-Rod.) Actually I respect everyone that do the things they do so well. Amazed me what people can do.

July 01, 2003

I'm looking to draw more, well more than I have been.. I did 2 drawings last night.. and yeah, can we say obsessed?? It's of ELiza Dushku and the other one was SMG... I tend to get stuck on one thing at the time and then I'll be like this for a while, there's no telling how long it'll last. So, I basically just enjoy it while it last. I'm just glad that I have something that I'm into (well, things, I have quite a few things that I am into.) I'll be bored without these distraction. At times I prefer it over socialization, I see no point in party so you have it. Right now I'll just draw, and read and write.

I'll be on the next belt test, that's what Sensei Al said. I'll be green/stripe. I got all my stuff.. I was a bit off today though, having 5 restless hour of sleep tend to do that to me. I'm tired now, and I usually won't go to bed till maybe 5 hours later.

I'm waiting for American Chopper on Discover Channel.. (yeah, I'm love that show.. >:D ) While I'm waiting.. I did a little drawing. I remember saying that I will draw Faith, now that I drew Buffy (SMG really) Now I drew Faith.. Let me know what you think??

And also a plug for Elphie me really like the new layout.

June 30, 2003

I feel fat.

Even with an hour of class 5 days a week, I feel fat.. I think it's the fact that I slept most of the day and be awake at night and by then I end up eating too late.. so no more food after 10, I wanted to say after 9, but by the time I get back home and settle down enough to actually eat, it usually almost 9, especially monday. Well, now it's niblets... no good.. I'll figure this out I guess...

I finished painting where I was told to paint, well 1st coat anyway... it needs second, but then I was told that I need to paint the back of the garage too.. so now there's more to paint.. and it's only 1st coat.. At least it was comfortable weather today, chance of rain tomorrow, that's what they said.. I don't feel like having any company. I just wanna be left alone for the most part and just read or play game. One of those mood, but no I'm not depress just detaste human company. I could do without having to talk to people.

Oh yeah, I got IMed by some 13 year old that thinks she's entitled to the screen name that I've had for 6 years. (yes, I've been on AOL for that long) The first time she IMed me I was out and left my comp running, second time I was being polite so I answer and bam! the first question came a/s/l, I think it's very rude, especially there was no normal superficial pleasantries. (you know, hello, how are you.. stuff like that ) Since I think it's rude, I told her as much (no I didn't said hey it's rude.) I told her that before she go around asking things like that shouldn't she be offering her own information. I've always maintain that I will not ask people things that I am not willing to tell them. And she told me she's 13.. so I told her my age and she said that she didn't think so. I told her it's none of her concern anyway.

That was the first, to be honest. Never once I chatted with stranger and they think that I'm younger than I said I am, normally they go for older, only because the way I worded things, you'd be surprised how old they think I am.

Anyway, she didn't seem to understand what I was trying to tell her without having to tell her. Then I just ignored her, the only thing I can do considering the circumstance. Again she IMed me, telling me she wanted my SN and now she had to settle for a different one.. (just change the number at the end) I told her that I've had this for 6 years, she said 'yeah, right.' So I proceed to ignore her again, she asked if I was going to sign off or block her, I said neither, I will simply go about my business. I said to her did she not think that she is being rude, she said nope, so I said mentality of a 13 year old, of course.

Funny how she thinks that she is entitled to the SN that I've been using for so long. She's 6 years too late for that. Besides why would she want the name so bad when she didn't know what it means?

Ok, I finished my ranting for now... Just that it aggravated me how rude it was, I don't remember ever being like that when I was 13, or even younger. My parents just won't let me get away with that, oh wait, I don't let me get away with that.

Another thing, I write more.. but seems like I don't write enough. No happy medium for me here. I got a little more of story Different Light on Slayers' Dreams It's fanfic, uber, B:tVS/Cruel Intentions, yeah well, not the most original thought.. but I think I can pull it off.. maybe.

Bed now... eye hurts... fire bad, tree pretty...

June 28, 2003

I'm tired, don't know why when I didn't do much today... well, I would understand if I sparred today, but we didn't have sparring, they got the test, Sensei Al decided that since a lot of kids don't show up for sparring anyway it's more of a convenient to have the test on friday night during the sparring time. Anyway, I went to the mall to see Bona.. and well, she wasn't there, I was 15 min late.. she'll be busy for the next mont. Saw her mom though. I got Petshop of Horror today.. you know, sometimes it kinda suck that I read so fast.. 'cause before you knew it you were done. Think I'm gonna go now..

June 25, 2003

Finally, I got the new layout of Morpheus up. I got the layout done a few days ago, but had no motivation to put it up whatsoever. Me getting lazy. Class earlier today was fun, and I mean fun. A few kids showed up to make up the lost class.. (I'm guessing they usually come once a week and so.. they are making that up) So we had everyone from Junior black belt (2 of them) 2nd degree black belt (Kevin) 2 green, 1 blue, 2 brown, 2 purple, 2 orange.. (I think.. or was that 1??) When we were done, Sensei Al came over to me and told me that Kevin (sensei) was impressed that I got my techniques down (and if not I improvised..) and more aggressive with it.. (hey, I have to get all my aggression out somehow) Which made me feel really good. ( sensei al : that made me feel good.)

Oh yeah, Sensei Natalie, Al, Estella, got their stripes (4th, 3rd, 3rd in that order) Zack got his black, Bob got his black, Luke got his black. Congratulations!

June 23, 2003

Ya know, for the lack of better thing to do.. I took the quiz.. I don't remember if I did it before or not.. but well, hehehe

Which Hellsing character are you?
Ok, I'm done with Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix. I won't say anything here, cause I know a lot of people don't like spoiler. Now I'll go watch X:Four. Got it yesterday, didn't touch it cause I was reading. Now that the reading is done.. though I wish there was more to read.. I can go watch that.

StarStreak : I didn't see the comment till tonight.. sorry about that. Thank you for the compliment, I'm in love with the layout right now (yeah I know, weird that I'm in love with the layout I made.. sounds a little.. um... well, can't find the word..) I like yours as well.. and I did mention it before.. pretty blue. ^_^

June 21, 2003

Jen : me? I lived the north of Boston.. well, I'm closer to NH than to Boston (like a street or so away from NH border) not that it's that far away.. LOL.. I still can hop on the train from Andover (or Lawrence or Haverhill.. ) ^_^ When I go to Newbury St. I usually walk from one end to the other, and make a few stops at the stores along the way. It's a nice place to be on a nice day, of course it's been raining and stuff.. Last time I went to Victor Hugo Ave. they were unpacking still.. I couldn't find horror section!

Back to reading Harry Potter...
Well, today I got the nunchuck form. Not that I remember anything 5 minutes after I was done.. will take more than 1 lesson, I know. It's the footwork.. I couldn't remember if I swing it up before turn or turn before.. oh well.

We were at B&N till about 1:20AM.. got Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix. I know.. there was a line.. but I got the book anyway so who cares. I'll be reading that for the next day or so.. (I tend to just bury my nose in the book and don't put it down) Anyway, I'm looking for that song, I wish I can hear the lyric clearly, that way I can search it with the lyric, but all I got is .. 'I am the only way to go, I am the way to the future.' This just bugs me.

June 20, 2003

Listening : Fray [ Staind ]

Tomorrow, rain, more rain, yeah, I think we have enough of that, but whatever. I got a weapon lesson tomorrow at 5. Other than that, nothing. I guess I should write more..

I got this mix of Buffy clips with a song.. and I knew the song, I swear it's time like this that I wanna bang my head against something, cause I know that I knew the song.. but I couldn't remember the title of it. It bugs me. I hate that.

She is back. Saying I never call I never write. I stopped calling a long time ago.. and write? Forget it.. didn't bother her before don't tell me it does now. Cause it'll just be a big f---king lie. Asking for update like we're still friends. I almost tell her that with all those friends she loves so much why don't she ask them to look those up for her instead of asking the nobody here. It's like the more I do for her, the less I mean to her. We teach people how to treat us, I was told, but I know I can throw all the tantrum I want, all she would do was hang up the phone and that's it. She won't be reached unless she wanted to be, so I can be mad and whiny and all of that and more, won't matter. All or nothing, I'm not settling.

'miles to go, little Miss Muppet counting down from severn-three-oh.'

June 18, 2003

Listening : Understanding [ Evanescence ]

I'm guessing that people are on vacation seeing how there were only 3 of us in class today. But hey, it was kinda like this too last summer. I have no life so I guess that didn't really bother me that I'm in everyday.

Elphie : what happened to akaiCHOUdotORG? I went there and all I got was can't find website.

Apparently, the whole 'fighting' to keep me around is over. Nice to see that I meant that much. Say.. a couple of days? Nothing's change, I can see that.

'fifteen hours and twenty three minutes
the amount of time it takes for love to truely die'
-Wlfgrl [ Wild ]

June 16, 2003

Listening : The Odyssy [ Orgy ]

Jen : Sasuga is my favorite.. I rarely go to Boston these days, occasionally I feel like it and I jump on the train and go.. There's so many things I want in that store and not enough money to get them! Have you been to the bookstore on Newbury St.? Victor Hugo Ave. I love that place, being surrounded by that many books... it was just.. wow.

Karen : ThanX, glad you like the layout. I'm in love with it right now!

I just set up the time for a private lesson for nunchuck... I didn't forget anything that Sensei Al and Lenny taught me, it just that, I've been doing it by myself and if I did something wrong I have no way of knowing that it was wrong, so ya know.. you can only do so much by youself before you need someone else to take a look and tell you if it was ok.

Today Sensei Al and Sensei Natalie went to the other dojo to work out. Sensei Al is going for his 3rd stripe, and I think Sensei Natalie is going for her 4th. Anyway, so we got Michelle (sensei) to teach us instead, I've never seen her before in my life, so I walked in there and I looked around and just thought to myself, where is Sensei Al? Sensei Natalie?? And who are you??? It was fun though, I like her. So, it's all good, we were doing some different drill. Doing form with just kicks.. (damn was that confusing) 1 Pinan with different strike (anything but front to knuckle) and then do 1 Pinan then half way changed to 2. It's cool though, it's all good. They liked to call out weird little curve ball at us when we're on the test, so it'll help.

Now I gotta get a shower... *sniff* don't smell so good.. (j/k I don't smell anything but my shirt is soak with sweat.)

*cause it's better than nothing, now that control is gone, it's seem unreal, she's dreaming in digital*

June 15, 2003

Listening : Numb [ Linkin Park ]

Ok, new layout! Yay!!! Finally, I know I said I'll do a series of Faith ( Eliza Dushku ) but it felt wrong that I made layout of Faith and no Buffy at all. Yeah it is Sarah Michelle Gellar.. ^_^ Anyway, I like how it come out.

June 13, 2003

I just got done updating the layout of Rogue Sanctuary now it is done. For those who do not know what it is, it is my Ivanova/Talia fanfiction index. (any B5 fan??) I finally come up with a new layout.. and so.. I did it, got it done, update the links and such. Next in line is Morpheus and this one.. not neccessarily in that order. Depends on which I can come up with first.

Well, someone is desperate... I mean, what different does it make when she didn't really give a shit before, not that I'm gone she wants me back. I know I'll cave in, but in the mean time, I won't make it easy. I had not be down right rude, so she should be happy about that. Actually, due to my upbringing, I rarely rude to anyone, if ever. I'm overly polite and accomodating even when I don't feel like it. Though I'm real good at ignoring people I don't care for. Anyway, we'll see what happen.

June 10, 2003

I got the Witch Hunter Robin DVD, finally. I know I could've load it somewhere, but until I can figure out where I can get the drive for DIVx decompressor.. no chance of that happening. Anyway, I prefer to see it on TV and not comp screen anyway. I'm such a spoiled brat. But at least I don't drink, smoke or party. Anyway, I'm gonna go look for food then watch it after this.

June 09, 2003

Listening : Faceless [ Godsmack ]

Got my digital cam. My first image is... Hellsing I made this.. to go on my wall. I love cutting, to be honest. The feel of the sharp blade gliding over the paper, I mean you can tell if the blade wasn't sharp enough. I think that's why I love the process so much, I get to cut the contact paper which is pretty thin, and try not to go too deep into the matboard cause I'll be peeling off the top layer of the board out otherwise. I enjoy it, and it looks crisp and clean when it is done. Quite the opposite of my drawing that usually involve lots of sketch lines and stuff.. I mean, it looks kinda messy. I think it's the fact that I don't need to be committed to 1 single line helps. Anyway, I'll be taking lots of pic I guess, just not of me.
Listening : Understanding [ Evanescence ]

Ok, I'm playing catch-up with the writing and stories, ya know. What else for me to do but this. I write too.. so.. Slayers' Dreams is where I keep this one. Just a shortie, kinda sweet.. ( a bit too sweet, but you know...) I have enough time for the depressing one later and also working on Ivanova/Talia uber one, if anyone is wondering.

Oh yeah a plug for
Elphie. Like the new layout, cute!!

tell me you'll live through this and I will die for you.'

June 08, 2003

I need to know if you were real
'cause I've been known to get it wrong
When the memory comes
I'll say I'm always in the dark
You got me now

I want to give you back
somewhere out of here
I want to give you
I want to give you back

I can't remember how it went
You looked like everything I wanted
And as you came along
slowly everything began to change
I got you now

That's enough
just talking about it
I don't mind
I don't mind, no I
laugh enough
just dreaming about it

I need to know if you were real
I'd hate to think that I'd been fooled again
And as the vision fades
I'll say I was blinded by your eyes
I felt them burn

Somewhere out of here
You gotta get on out of here
Get on out of here

I finally finished that Hellsing thing, took this long only because I didn't wanna have to cut a small piece out of my matboard when I knew that I have some statch somewhere, watch in a day or two I'll find 10 pieces of 8"x8" matboard. That's just annoying. Anyway.. sunday, not doing anything. I'll just lay back and play game.

June 06, 2003

My thumb kinda hurt now. Don't know how that happen, anyway, I painted the rest of the shed.. now only 1 side will need to be put on a second coat. I think I wear it more than I put it on, but hey! I think I'm getting the digital cam this weekend. I'll see the sale.. LOL.. not that it'll make any diffrent if I want it now I'll get it now. I've been putting that off cause someone said she gonna get me one and she promised me that she did, but you know something, I don't think she ever did. Just one more lie to top it all off. Anyway, since that didn't happen. I'm getting one myself. I'll just have to remember to never ask anyone for anything. Never get anything from anyone anyway. (too many any???) Ok, now I better figure out how to set up the damn guestbook, been putting it off for far too long.. and yeah who said anything about me being good at this stuff??? Nope, not me..

June 05, 2003

Listening : Robin [ WHRobin OSS ]

I'm working on a 32"x24" 12 pieces Hellsing illustration. It's a cut out contact paper, figure for the lack of better things to do (well, I could write.. but I couldn't concentrate.. ) And I wanna do something for an empty wall of my room. So there.. It is an image of Integra Wingate Hellsing and Seras Victoria. I got the first 5 done. Ran into a tiny bit of problem, but I worked that out. I can't wait to get Sarah Michelle one back. Wish Tudor would just hurry it up.

June 04, 2003

I'd give anything to give myself to you
Can you forget the words that you thought you knew
If you want me,
Come and find me
Nothing's stopping you so please release me

I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you

Have you left to make me feel anymore
Theres only you and everyday I need more
If you want me
Come and find me
I'll do anythng you say just tell me

Anything for you
All without your hurt inside
Will ever never die
I'll be, everything you need

[ Evanescence | Anything For You ]

June 03, 2003

Saw Wrong Turn, wow! I'll be wary of back roads for weeks!

I spent last night making a bunch of MD, didn't touch it for a while and now I have a bunch of song to go on it. I spent the afternoon painting the shed, not done yet and it's gonna rain tonight and tomorrow, nice huh. Gotta love it here.

June 01, 2003

Listening : Half-Pain [ Bana ]

Talked to my mom earlier tonight.. (not real early, but you know what I mean) and I really wanna go home. 7 years.. long enough I think and I have another one to go. God.. and people wonder why I fucking brood. I would call grandpa and talk to him except I wouldn't know what to talk to him about, beside I hate it when they start asking when I'll be going home. It's not like I don't want to, I do, I really do. But until I'm done with school, I'm not. I'm not dropping a little over $1000 to go home either.. besides I was told once by a friend that it's harder to leave the second time.. not on her, but her mom. And I can see that happened with mom and dad. I'd rather not have to drop that much money (which by the way, is theirs) and make them feel bad when I leave. I mean they won't say anything, but I hate seeing mom cry. Worst I hate leaving.

I'm getting Witch Hunter Robin on ebay. Heard good things about it, so I figure I'll give it a shot. Now I still need to pick up a few DVDs. Probably 1 at the time. I'm getting digital cam too, I think. Need one.. now that I found I have a hell of a time trying to get my stuff into portfolio and I hate to get the entire roll of film done before I can get that. Thus a lot of my stuff didn't get recorded that way.. At the moment I'm playing with the one my aunt lets me borrow.

'are you aware of what you make me feel, baby
right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real'

May 29, 2003

Listening : Before The Dawn [ Evanescence ]

Elphie I'm sure they'll rerun those again.. I'd hoped that they would rerun the whole thing, ya know.. every ep before Graduation.. that didn't seem to be the case, however. Well, I guess I'll set up the time everyday and keep the one I like.. (that or I'll grit my teeth and just buy the DVD.. I still have so many to catch up on thought.. T_T)

I got Sukeban Deka back from Joe, he loved it, he thought it was a bit short, and I agreed. I still need to get the rest of X the series.. (I started a little late.. so now I only have 1, 2) Need to get Noir vol.3, Crying Freeman 2. So many to get so little money. LOL.

Piper glad you like the drawing. I should draw just for the sake of drawing more often. I'm looking around to see if I can find one of Eliza that I like enough to draw. I mean, I like all of them, but some are better to draw than others. Just me and my pickiness ^_^
Meet me after dark again and I'll hold you
I am nothing more than to see you there
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn

If only night can hold you where i can see you, my love
Then let me never ever wake again
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn

somehow i know that we cant wake again from this dream
it's not real, but it's ours

Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn

Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn

[ Evanescence | Before The Dawn ]

my day was all right up until someone decided that things needed to be dug up. And it's the same old thing. What I feel didn't matter then and doesn't matter now, not to her, never to her. So what if she hurts me, I should still stay right where I was and take it? I don't think so. Suddenly I'm the bestfriend, well, as soon as she got her real bestfriend back that is. No, not doing this anymore. Can't afford to pick myself up off the floor and put myself back together only to be broken down again. And they think I'm so depressed, there's reason to my depression. Fuck them, fuck her.

May 28, 2003

I taped Buffy rerun with Eliza as host.. ^_^

I got to talk to Renee today before karate, it's great to hear from her again, I don't remember the last time I talk to her so. It's nice to catch up a bit. She'll be moving back, maybe we can hang out sometimes. The class today was fine, I got 2 more bruises on my right arm.. it usually the right arm anyway, the arm you punch in with. That makes 7 bruises that I'm aware of. Sensei Al got 3 sectional staff in the dojo, my shoes are coming in tomorrow, though I won't get the white/gray with blue lining, I'll get the white with black lining, which is all right. At this point I don't care if I get the black, I just want the new shoes.. The old pair I kept falling off when I do crane stand, so it didn't help with Statue of the Crane form. Especially when I did the punch to the floor and have to hop back and turn at the same time.. I tend to fall on the punch, not on the hop. Anyway, new shoes.. I'm happy.

Did a drawing tonight.. of Sarah Michelle Gellar.. yes, yes, it is becoming an obsession.. well, SMG and ED that is. I did't com across any image of Eliza Dushku that I want to draw yet. I'll do one of her (or several) when I find a good image. ^_^

X: over and out for the night

May 27, 2003

Elphie!! ThanX! I knew that she'll host it, just didn't know when. Now I'll set up the vcr for it, I'm not home during that time.. Though I would've tape it even if I'm here.

I'm still slowly watching Lain.. and I stopped with Rose of Versailles.. I'll start up again when my head stop spinning.

May 26, 2003

I've spent last night and all day today watching Rose Of Versailles, man, it's like craming two weeks worth of anime into a day and a night, still not finish thoug, I got about 10 more episodes to go. I decided to stop and watch Lain.. Yeah I'll be cramming that one in too.. LOL.. not a good idea actually, I should watch it slowly so I still have stuff to watch and not feel the need to go out and get anime. (still need to get Noir 3, Crying Freeman 2, X)

Guess what, my nose still hurt when I tap at it.. man next time I'll keep my face away from a foot.

May 24, 2003

Listening : Why [ Stabbing Westward ]

I am not here
I think I've never
been here at all
or ever will be
I feel like a place
where no one goes anymore

why can't you see
that everything's broken
why does it seem this life's turned gray
I can't believe in anything sacred
when I don't believe that I am real

I need someone to
break the silence
that's screaming in my head
and in my soul

it seems so bizarre
but none of this matters
thoughts disappear, and hope has died
but now I am safe,
nothing can hurt me here

why can't you see
my need for forgiveness
the truth and the lies
so confused as one
I can't believe in anything sacred
when I don't believe in anything

I need someone to
break the silence
that's screaming in my head
and in my soul

I am alone
locked in my memories
there's nowhere left for me to hide
but I am not real
I've made all I am with lies

why does it seem that everything's different
why does it seem that only you are real
I don't believe in anything sacred
so, why do I feel so damned alone?

May 23, 2003

I got kicked in the face today. So my nose still hurt, though no nose bleed or anything. Well, I never had nose bleed in my life and I don't think I'm gonna start now. We got a few techniques today too.. fast hand and the other one which we didn't get the name, footwork itself was good and the way of the hit... it's cool.

May 22, 2003

There's somthing in your ways
That makes me wanna stay here for a thousand years
So just cry your fears, I need you everyday
Inside you I just want to wipe away your fears
So just cry your tears

I wish I was with you

If I stay well than your tears will set you free
If I stay right here and forever with you
everything I feel for you
Is everything I want to stay with you
If I stay right here and forever with you

My eyes

This is tearing me apart
I wish I could be in your sometimes
Feel you again
Anytime I feel like I'm too far
Than I will try to remember all ours
and your memories I know

I wish I was in you

If I stay
Well then your tears will set you free
If I stay right here than forever with you
Everything I feel for you
Is everything I want to stay with you
If I stay right here
Than forever with you

my eyes!

[ Ill Nino | With You ]

May 21, 2003

I'm sleepy, but of course I won't be sleeping or anything. Not for a while anyway. My right wrist took some beating today, so it'll bruised pretty bad tomorrow and now we're out of laundry detergent.. mean I'm running out to get some right now. Or maybe a bit later, or tomorrow, though I wanna get the laundry done tonight, just one of those things you want to get done in one shot and not leave it. Anyway, we'll see.. I spent last night making the montage as a favor for a friend.. who is doing some cd cover for her friend.. I don't even get pay for this shit, but hey, it'll look good when I got the cd itself to go into my portfolio. Besides.. I'd be up either way. It was a rainy day so I didn't paint or anything. And apparently it'll rain tomorrow too.. ha!

Elphie IE kept freezing up when I tried to go to your blog, don't know why... weird.
Listening : Rest In Pieces [ Saliva ]

yup, bad week, and it's not even half over yet. I have to drive to Woburn to get the mattboard, unbelievable, none of the art store around here has it, yup, driving.. The only think that I mind would be because I'd end up buying more stuff, artsupplies.. or just something I felt the need to get my hands on, but not really needed it.

Elphaba, glad you like the layout.. I love Eliza, she's SEXXY!!! I'm looking forward to her new movie.. Wrong Turn (though I'm not sure what it was about) I'll be like when I go see Bring It On, completely not my type of movie, but went anyway cause she was in it! I considering using Sarah M. Gellar for a layout too.. only because you can't have Faith without Buffy.. (almost type Fuffy.. that would be wrong.) ^_^ (yeah I know obsessed much??)

love to be beside you,
the way you smell
the way your lips feel
and your fingernails
the way your fingers crawl up my spine
the way you always make me
the last in line

I carry the weight of the world
as the past is unfolded
but I won't stop to wonder
going through life on my own
made me as cold as a stone
I'm a ship going under
and I'd tell you this
but I don't know how
I'm caving in and I'm falling out
and I can't resist
and I can't rebound with the weight of the world
as the world falls down

it's the way you thrill me
a little more each day
and it's what you're thinkinging
in your twisted mind
the way your body trembles
when it's next to mine

this pain I think about it everyday
it tells me I'm never gonna get away
I know it's over, but I can't escape memories
and how to face another day

[ Saliva | Weight Of The World ]

May 19, 2003

We got a little of the Bo form today, not much and I barely remember anything. My wrist still hurt and I had a bad day, yup... not a good week now that I think about it. Anyway how.. I won the auction for Rose of Verssailles, I never thought I'd see that on auction, but hey, once it's there I couldn't pass up. And also got Lain too.. never saw it, but heard lots of good thing about it so I figure i'll get it while I can. Make me feel a bit better about today. Unexpected phone call and IM, that'll do it.