Listening : Chinese Burn [ Curve ]

First : A plug for Elphie. Nice new layout..

Cin : Yeah, I've had quite a few Eliza layout as well as Sarah.. so.. I'd show ya if you wanna see them.. hehehe. Actually, I'm kinda thinking of putting the screenshot of my old layout up.. I don't know I didn't always do them so I only had the last few.. don't know if that even worth the time.. ummmm...

Ying : Hey!!!!! MISS YOU!!!!

New layout, yeah, finally....

Today my first day back to PRA after a month off... felt weird to have to get up and drive there again, but hey... I get pay...

the shallow need to feel wanted
worshipped and adored and never be ignored
I give you love but you don't see it
you never understand
my world is in your hand, and
I have this thought in my head
and it's about being noticed
we hide away
somebody stop me feeling empty
we hide away
somebody stop me feeling empty
you start this dance but I'm leading
I act out the abuse
bewildered and confused
tonight I'm yours, but I don't feel it
you say it's all a game, but one can only play it
I have this thought in my head
and it's about being noticed
we hide away, somebody stop me
we hide away
somebody stop me feeling empty
we hide away
I have this thougth in my head
and it's about being noticed
we hide away
somebody stop me feeling empty

[ Empty (Hideaway) | Sonique ]

Listening : This Love [ Craig Armstrong ]

Thanks to G for the CDs... I'm listening to one of them right now.

Cin: Thank you!!! I didn't get anything for my b-day though... I think I'm gonna go out over the weekend to get either X-Files dvd set or Buffy season 2.. I got season 1 and 3.. yeah I skipped 2.. don't know why.. LOL.. As for the writing.. whimsicle?? I like those... :) I'd love to read it, and I promise to be nice. You got cut by those blades?? That's the same kind that got a chunk of my skin out of my knuckle.. It's starting to heal now though, so it's all good.. Have you ever cut yourself with a pair of scissors??

Ok, writing.. yup.. filling in the holes.. LOL.. DL people.. the next update will be DL...

BTW Cin: I got like a beginning of the AU I was talking about down on paper.. :) The yellow notebook.. LOL.

Happy Birthday to MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Ok, I just managed to slice my knuckle open... bleeding still.

This is annoying.

I'm reading Berserk.. Yup... Enjoying it, a lot.

Still read Angel Sanctuary, too.

I'm burning a bunch of cd for a friend.. she's like educate me! *roll eyes* she needs to keep up, damn it.

Cin: So, you won't post the story? Is this B/F? or just original?

I should get back to writing, I mean I'm writing.. just slow. Now I'm having some difficulty typing cause of the damn cut.. Well, I'll improvice..

I need a new layout!

Yup, I really do.

I guess I'll do something that will fit the lyric of Hope vol 2. I liked that song.. well, ya know.. I got a pic in mind, but now I have to look for a second pic that would fit with it and then it'll be good.

I need to write.

Yup, that too.. I'm writing, just slowly. I couldn't decide which one I wanna get done first.. weird isn't it. I also have an idea for AU for B/F... yeah.. cause the line.. 'Cause she's Lady B, and I'm her Faith.' kept popping up and I wanna use it, I really do.

I guess it'll be something like ToF but not setting in the past.. it'll be in some future far far away... well, I kinda have an idea, but then I should really get DL and Frail done and then Two and stuff.. so I won't have that many things sitting on the hard drive.

Busy head of mine.

Cin : The space inside..

I got use to the empty space beside me pretty quickly, especially after the 2/3 of the space are empty that I can move around now.

Still, it's that worry. I hate it.

*sigh* can't do much now anyway...

I'm gonna buy that 2 handed bastard sword off of her. Or my Sensei might... I'm not sure which one he's thinking about yet.. might be the Scottish claymore. It's huge! That's next week.

Listening : Hope vol.2 [ Apocalyptica ]

hope is beauty
personified
at her feet, the world
hypnotized
a million flashes
a million smiles
and on the catwalk
she flats in style

but in this heart of darkness
our hope lies lost and torn
all flame like love is fleeting
when there's no hope anymore

pain and glory
hand in hand
a sacrifice
the highest price

like the poison in her arm
like the whisper she was gone
like when angels fall

and in this heart of darkness
all hope lies on the floor
all love like flame is fleeting
when there's no hope anymore

like the poison in her arm
like a whisper she was gone
like an angel
and angels fall

Ok, so I went to bed at 6:30 AM this morning and managed to wake up at 4:30PM.. LOL.. nice huh.. I better break out of that habit.. I really have to.

I was reading Claire McNab's Carol Ashton mytery book last night that was why I went to bed so late.. but well.. I decided to put it down when the sky started to lighten.. have to.. XD

Gotta get a new phone tomorrow. I should've done it tonight except I didn't wanna go in Bestbuy and deal with people. My phone is about to die though.. XC

Listening : This Is The New Shit [ Marilyn Manson ]

I got Different Light new update up.. and also the first half (hopefully) of Frail up.

Got a new book by Clair McNab tonight.. wooooohooooooooo I love her books.. Love Carol Ashton.. and I wish she would get Carol together with Madeline.. I mean, they seem so good together.. oh well.. they still might..

I'm just happy to have a new book to read...

She had not call me back since last night and I wonder if something happen.

I'm back, and I'm all cried-out.

I've spent the last 2 weeks with a friend of mine... someone I've known for almost 5 years, been through a lot of drama [on her side] together, the only one person I've ever felt so close to the one I've cried over, the one I'd ever imagined myself being with, except that she would never be with me, and it drive me nuts.

But now I know better. I've grown up a little, I guess.

When it rain it pours, I believe that this saying fits her well.

She had a break up from hell 3 days before my visit. So I was there to help her pick up the pieces yet again. A lot of things changed and remained the same. Still love her more than anyone, I've already resigned myself to that fact, but I don't have that illusion anymore. She said I help a lot but just being there keeping her together.... a lot happened...

And when I left this afternoon... I realized how much it hurts when I leave, especially now. She looked like lost puppy and I looked worse, and feeling even worse than I looked. I was crying. She knew this, saw it, made no comment, which was the best thing she could've done... Sometimes I think she should take her time doing things. I'm hoping the people she hangs out with, the people she calls friends would be there for her where I can't.

Right now though, I need to sleep.. and get use to that empty space beside me.. again.