March 31, 2002

Status: about to drop
Listen: May It Be [ Enya ]

You are Spaceman Spiff!
Zounds! You are the intrepid Spaceman Spiff, the engaging explorer ensconsed in an unending universe of exotic and evil extraterrestrials! You're brave, but you should give that dictionary a rest.
Take the What Calvin are You? Quiz by!

March 30, 2002

Status: winding down
Listening: nothing...

At least I got the embossing thing done... well not done, done.. I think I will have to do it again tomorrow and also I will be doing my pulp painting. This is why I hate to go in when someone else is going to be there, I had to wait like 30 min to get my piece into the vac system. If it was just me, I would've been done way before 6 PM. Anyway, we'll see how it comes out tomorrow and then I'll do another one of those with other color add to it. Today it was just recycle paper... (white with a bunch of black spots.. came from ink) I feel really tired now, don't know why, I spent most of the time standing around, waiting, pulling sheets of paper didn't take up that much energy, guess my body's just running on low. (not good.. not good at all) But anyway, I'm going to reread Twist of Fate, so I can start with the sequel.

Status: winding down
Listening: nothing...

Went to see Panic Room it was good, I enjoyed it very much. I've been out most of the day, spent at least 3 hours in the printshop at school got all 4 prints done (Jeff might not liked them, but I had enough) And tomorrow I will be in the studio and pull sheets and do pulp painting and also embossing. Busy, busy, busy... I wish I would have the time or concentration to write, well, I guess if I force myself I could, but it won't come out as good... Then again, I'm good under pressure, just not too much of it. Well, I just want to get projects out of the way before I burst.

[ X: x_X ]

March 28, 2002

Status: tired
Listen: And All That Could Have Been [ NIN ]

Didn't fall asleep in class at all, which is a good thing considered how tired I was this morning, my right arm is bothering me right now, and I still have to work on the plaster cast, I should be running out to Home Depot since I need to get a bucket to be use in my class, from the things they want us to do, they probably think we made of gold or something. Just read a story, a fan-fic it was great, I always thought they would make a great couple I just never get around to actually writing fanfic with them (won't tell you who.. in case you disagree.. j/k) I better run..

[ X: hops away ]

March 27, 2002

Status: -_-
Listen: And All That Could Have Been [ NIN ]

I was having a nice evening up until now... why is it that she can always ruin my day with just a few careless words. I just wanted to tell her about my day and then she took it as me being busy, as I recalled I have enough countesy to put whatever I was doing down to talk to her, to give her my full attention and she's the one that couldn't bother to do the same for me. Never once she would put down what she was doing, even if it was just little thing and talk to me. Maybe she didn't take it as me being busy, but she just didn't want to hear it, then in that case, all she has to do is say so, I would've shut up. I guess I'll go back to do what I used to.. writing and more writing I think I'll be more at peace that way anyway, and stop this chasing. I don't even know why... why this chase and why not the other, and why I can't bring myself to a full stop and say to hell with it. Just let it go, it would've been so easy. But me... I can't do anything the easy way.. Always have to suffer...

Status: -_-
Listen: May It Be [ Enya ]

I just redesigned the layout, as you can see. Came out ok I think. I think Milla is hot, don't you? Thought she looked really good on my blog.. *g* At the moment my arms are tired... I don't like working with plaster... At least my Prof took mercy on us and extend the deadline for the 2nd portfolio for another week... (YES!!) I think that he saw our stuff and thought that none were worthy of submission, that's why he extended it. Either way, it's all good..

[ X: groaned ]

March 26, 2002

Status: >_<
Listen: tv droning

Staring at the sea
Will she come?
Is there hope for me
After all is said and done
Anything at any price
All of this for you
All the spoils of a wasted life
All of this for you
All the world has closed her eyes
Tired faith all worn and thin
For all we could have done
And all that could have been

Ocean pulls me close
And whispers in my ear
The destiny I've chose
All becoming clear
The currents have their say
The time is drawing near
Washes me away
Makes me disappear

I descend from grace
In arms of undertow
I will take my place
In the great below

I can still feel you
Even so far away

[ NIN: The Great Below ]

March 25, 2002

Status: tired as hell
Listen: Caught In The Sun [ Course of Nature ]

I've been asleep for 3 hours and had to get up and get a shower... I wish I could just roll over and go right back to sleep, should've get a shower earlier. I should go make a call and then go to bed, at least tomorrow class isn't as early as today.

Breeze still carries the sound
Maybe I'll disappear
Tracks will fade in the snow
You won't find me here

Ice is starting to form
Ending what had begun
I am locked in my head
With what I've done
I know you tried to rescue me
Didn't let anyone get in
Left with a trace of all that was
And all that could have been

Take this
And run far away
Far away from me
I am
The two of us
We're never meant to be
All these
And promises and left behinds
If only I could see
In my
You meant everything
Everything to me
Gone fading everything
And all that could have been

Take this
And run far away
Far as you can see
I am
And happiness and peace of mind
We're never meant for me
All these
And promises and left behinds
If only I could see
In my
You meant everything
Everything to me

[ NIN: And All That Could Have Been ]

Status: tired as hell
Listen: Pardon Me [ Incubus ]

I've been running around all morning, made 3 trips between home and school. I finally turned in my portfolio for senior studio though, so that's 1 less thing to be stressed about. My plaster mold cracked, so I will have to get plaster and then the Prof will help me with it on Wed, but tomorrow afternoon I will have to at least do pulp painting, or I wouldn't be finishing any of this on time for the next portfolio due. I'm so exhausted right now, even my hair protest me staying awake. Chris forgot to call me back last night and well... she said I didn't call back.. forgive me! God, everytime.. it almost like she knew that it was her fault but by saying that I was the one that suppose to call will make it ok that she forgot. The next thing I know she'll probably forget I exist. But then, when that happened I can say that I had it coming. She doesn't even remember my birthday, what do I expect, right? If I die, I wonder if she gonna remember the day... but by then I won't be around to care.

[ X: tired and grumpy ]

March 24, 2002

Status: trying to get into the mind set of...
Listen: the tv droning..

Well, tomorrow I'll be running around like a headless chicken (nice image, huh) And I'll probably stay after class to work on the project, I wish I could get it over with, but I couldn't, don't have the combination for the lock (damnit!) Oh well... I'll just have to write the proposal for the first project, but apparently it's not something I have to stick to. I'm hoping that I'll be able to fall asleep on the decent hour tonight, not up all night like last night, because I will not be too happy about stay up for at least 36 hours again. It's not fun.

[ X:--- ]

March 23, 2002

Status: Number the work in my portfolio
Listen: court tv

Why keep saying 'I want you around' when everything she ever did was screaming 'go away, I don't have the time to bother with you.' Maybe it's too much to ask for the same courtesy that I've always given her. Why is it that I always fall to the bottom of the list, everything on this round little planet called earth came before me, when everything else is done, then, only then what little attention that is left would be bestowed upon me, and that is very little. Seems like it's not even worth it anymore.

March 22, 2002

Status: waiting for laundry
Listen: nothing right now just me sucking on ice pop


I was never told that it was time for me to leave, though the situation called for that once. When I suddenly turned into some undesirable, and there was someone else, someone that came after me, but got there first due to partially, the fault of my own. But how would I know that, how could I know that her mind could be so quick to change. One moment it was me, all me and the next I am no longer the concern, not even how I would feel. Like mentioning a weather 'we are involved' I could imagine her saying 'it's nice out today' in the exact same tone and expression. Like I wasn't worthy of the attention, that little bit of handling it should take. Or is the fact that she had just broke my heart was so insignificant that the explanation was such a waste of time?

Saying the words are not as important as showing it, for me, I would rather not saying anything and let the action show itself. But for her it seems that the words are all I ever going to get. Seems like a big waste of time, knowing the out come, but staying to see it to the end. Maybe I shouldn't, maybe knowing the out come is enough and not having to wait to actually see it through. How much pain and suffering is it going to take? How long should I let myself endure all of this? Decisions that I need to make, still in consideration...

[ X: we live for desires eternally ]

March 21, 2002

Status: in pain
Listen: Caught In The Sun [ Course of Nature ]

How do you know when it is time to move on? That it's time to go. Maybe now is the time to go, maybe I should stick around. But why? Why should I stick around when I know that in the end, when it is all over I won't be the chosen one, in fact, there was already the chosen one and I'm just here to entertain them. To know, to touch and finally to keep, that would be the greatest gift, but in this case, it is to know, to touch and unable to hold and finally have to let go. Whatever I do would never be good enough, so what am I waiting for? A formal word? That would've been very painful, to be told that it is time to leave.

Status: chillin'
Listen: Excess [ Tricky ]

Gently, my mind escapes into the relaxing
world of pleasure, a pleasure that'll take
my mind off the reality of my life,
my past life... life as I know it now.

And whatever may come, it slowly
disappears to somewhere in the back
of my mind. It will remain there,
until I wish to retrieve it.

Yes, I will stay here for a while,
for I need the break. A break from the
pressures of life, and everything
that lays in the palm of life's hands.

This mode is incredible. It's out of
this world. Too bad I must always leave it...
... but that's life.

[ Slipknot: Gently ]

[ X: -_- ]

March 19, 2002

Status: watching tv
Listen: the tv, duh!

I've been getting into The Sims again, lately that's all I've been doing, well, I don't have much to do, not while it's snowing outside and actually I'm still deciding what to do for embossing project for the papermaking, I kinda know what I want to do with the pulp painting, I guess it's either Wed or Thur that I will go in and do it, all recycle paper, baby! I don't feel like spending money on the sheets of cotton linter.. that and also the fact that if I order I probably won't get it till next week, defeat the whole purpose of doing it while on break, anyway... I'm not in the best of shape right now..

[ X:--- ]

March 18, 2002

Status: just hanging out
Listen: Pardon Me [ Incubus ]

I saw The Laramie Project last night. I thought it was good, though I'd love to see more of the trial. Again, I had to keep calling people, it is tedious. I think she just mentioned the visit just so that she could say I don't want to visit that's why I don't plan it. And the truth is, I'd love to see her, I miss her, but I'm buried neck deep in projects and stuffs that I needed to get done before school start again and it's just not possible to be doing that while visiting someone 1200 miles away. If I could do the stuff while I was visiting it'd be great, but I don't think her mom would be too happy to see at least 3 vats of pulps in her kitchen and wet fabric everywhere while I pull sheets of papers. Well, she said she's moving here, guess I'll have to just keep myself in check till then.

[ X: most time I missed the voice that go unheard ]

March 17, 2002

Status: watching The X-Files
Listen: the tv

Went bowling today, candlepin bowling. The family next to us was extremely annoying, cause there were tons of kids there and they were running around, got in the way. People have no respect for other people, pissed me off. Anyway, I didn't do so bad.. the only thing was that I always let go of the ball a bit too early, I'll remember not to do that next time.

Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

[ X: just chillin' ]

March 16, 2002

Status: figuring things out
Listen: Caught In the Sun [ Course of Nature ]

the first time we met, the very first time
felt that connection,
like we've known each other for so long
I don't know why
I can't explain it
maybe we've met before
in the past life

with just a look in the eyes
we understand each other
but that is all
just look in the eyes

I want to hold you
to keep you with me
but we met too late
I don't want to take you from someone else
you belonged to someone else

I wish we've met before this
before you belonged to someone else
I wish there's a miracle
to take me back in time
I'd go back in time
and I would never let you get away
we would've fallen in love
if only there was a miracle

but it's too late now
you already belonged to someone else
too late now
there is no miracle

Status: just got up
Listen: Caught In the Sun [ Course of Nature ]

We went to see Resident Evil yesterday and I'd like to say... Mila Jovovich was HOT! I love her! Also I found the song that I heard the other day and listening to it right now. *g* Got my cd-rom drive fixed too.. well, not fix, I bought a new one and put it in yesterday, defrag my harddrive. I can go back and play The Sim now, though... I missed my Livin' Large expansion pack... Chris has that, well, I left that for her, she seems to like it. I think I'll get Hot Date.. or maybe Vacation pack.. We'll see. So, I'll goof off today, maybe bowling a bit later.. depends on the mood..

All ducks aren't sweet and innocent and you prove that. You have a nasty streak.

Find your inner rubber ducky.

[ X: what if I missed you, you got caught in the sun ]

March 14, 2002

Status: tired
Listen: the news

ThanX Jester I'm glad someone likes the new layout. I'm working on a new layout for Rogue Sanctuary. Today had been tiring, couldn't get a hold of my advisor, I need him to sigh the senior studio form, but since he's not there and next week is spring break, nothing I can do about it now.. though the deadline for senior studio is the Monday after spring break, how screw up is that! I'd love to know who plan all these things.. it's like they have no idea how to plan anything at all, but they expected us to be able to be able to do everything at once. Hail to the higher education!

[ X: pissy ]

March 13, 2002

Status: tired
Listen: Epiphany [ Staind ]

Tomorrow midterm on Art History.. yuck... I'm gonna have to study and make sure I remember the name of artists and such, after that it's science and then SPRING BREAK! I really want to see Chris, but since she hadn't mentioned a thing about visit so I guess I'll be here over the break and work my ass off.. I still have too much to do anyway. Still, it would be nice to see Chris and Ange... especially Chris. Oh well... probably summer.

Status: tired
Listen: nothing...

I was in the entire printmaking class today. Well, the ground took a while to dry, I decided not to stay and do it in class... will take me the entire afternoon. Now I'm home... starving, as usual. I heard a song on the way back from school and well... now I want to know what song it was... can't find it.. *g* Oh well.. Food is almost done!

[ X: starving ]

March 12, 2002

Status: just tired and still depressed
Listen: Epiphany [ Staid ]

Your words to me just a whisper
Your faces so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear

'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the thing's I should have said

So I speak to you in riddles because
My words get in my way. I smoke the
whole thing to my head and feel it wash away
'cause i can't take anymore of this,
I want to come apart
or dig myself a little hole inside
your precious heart

'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

I am nothing more than a little boy inside
That cries out for attention
though I always try to hide
'Cause I talk to you like children,
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed

'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

[ Staid: Epiphany]

Status: wishing I was dead
Listen: just silent

Would you survive a horror movie? Find out @ She's Crafty

well, that was interesting enough, keep me occupied for like 30 seconds. I spent over 2 hours in the printshop today, worked on 4 prints. The new ink was better than the older can, though a bit runny.. and really hard to wipe off of the plate.. (go on really smooth, but other than that, it's a pain in the ass) took me really long to clean the plate before I can print, though I'm all done with that now, on with the next project! God... I'm tired, upset, depressed and pissed. Why is it that she likes to push other people away with the excuse of 'you don't want me around' Truth is... if I don't want her around, she will know, there won't be any mistake for that with anything else. I'm just tired... can't believe that she could upset me this much with just a few words, but like they said... those that we love have the ability to hurt us most.

[ X: wanting to be anywhere but here and anyone but myself ]

March 11, 2002

Status: doing nothing
Listen: Worlock [ Skinny Puppy ]

chasing your shadow
in an endless circle
two steps behind...
one step...
and nothing...

imagining the two of us dancing in the moodlight
imagining the two of us in an amazing flight
just you and I, together

but I am...
chasing your shadow
in an endless circle
chasing your shadow...

always two steps ahead
and I am two steps behind
one more step...

another miss

and I am
chasing your shadow
in an endless circle
chasing your shadow
the neverending game

and I...
imagining the two of us dancing in the moodlight
imagining the two of us in an amazing flight
just you and I, together

but I am just...
chasing your shadow...

Status: doing nothing
Listen: More Human Than Human [ Rob Zombie ]

In the coldest time of year,
Darkness all around my heart.
I was alone but didn't fear
To wander in the light of stars.
In the bright and silent night,
Winds would knock and disappear.
Still I felt the feeling near,
Like the first time you were ever here.
You're so far away,
So far away,
You left me,
You told me you would stay.
You never said goodbye
And I'll keep asking why,
I keep on asking how,
Oh come unto me now.
I have breathed the morning air,
I have heard the four winds blow.
I was weary but prepared to follow
Down this lonely road.
In the room where lovers sleep,
Winds would knock and disappear.
Still I felt the music near,
Like the first time we were ever here.
You're so far away,
So far away,
You left me,
You told me you would stay.
You never said goodbye
And I keep wondering why,
I keep on wondering how,
Oh come inside me now.

[ Roxette: So Far Away ]

March 10, 2002

Status: depressed.
Listen: ---

So which letter of the alphabet matches YOUR personality, huh?

Status: depressed.
Listen: ---

'no love, however unrequited, should ever be as painful as one I am experiencing now'

Status: being ignored...
Listen: Body Crumple [ Dry Cell ]

'we are all accursed to walk this earth with our unfulfilled desires, bot you and I. And when you walk the path to your desire, my friend, may your walk be a short one, as short as mine is long.' [ Cecilia Tan: The Tale of Christina ]

Status: just relaxing
Listen: Trading Spaces...

I actually went to see the play at the high school. I was tired and wasn't about to go and was running a bit late by the time I got there, but I thought what the hell. Anyway, it was pretty good and I didn't fall asleep. Chris said if she was here she would go with me, then at least if it was bad I could lean over and fall asleep on her shoulder.. (yeah, right, she'll probably smack me awake!) I just called her and she was watching movie.. yup, can't bother with me.. noooooo...just too much trouble. Oh well.. I'll just deal and go to bed soon.

If I had a dime for every time you walked away,
I could afford to not give a shit
and buy a drink and drown the day
But your pockets, they are empty,
yeh, and mine are times two
So why not make an about-face,
and accept the love I send to you?
You're never gonna be content if you font try,
try to see outside your line.
There you go, you did it again!
You act as if there's binder on your eyes.
Should I apologize if what I say burns your ears and stains your eyes?!
Oh, did I crack your shell?
When it falls away, you'll see we exist as well!
Like a bottle with the cork stuck,
your true ingredients trapped inside.
Through the cloudy glass we catch a glimpse of you,
I guess the hard shell represents your pride.
Oh, if only it could be different
we could uncover the you, you deny.
Between two, a small discrepancy,
one complicates and one simplifies.
take those fucking blinders off your eyes!
So if I had a dime for every time you walked away,
you could bet your bottom dollar that
I'd be filthy rich by noon today

[ Incubus: Glass ]

[ X: just don't know what to think anymore ]

March 08, 2002

Status: tired
Listen: ---

Well, dinner was great, we didn't have to wait as long as we thought we would. I called Chris before I left the house, she was taking a nap. I guess she needed that. Bona is leaving on Sunday for Taiwan, she's going to be away for a month. I should've ask her to look for the MD for me. (dang!) Well, I got back, called Chris (she told me to) and well, busy line, and then again, she's getting a shower.. and then again, she's going out to see Time Machine, (something I don't think I want to see) I don't even know why she bothered. Should've told me she's going out, why told me to call, this is getting annoying and I don't think Spring Break is going to be anymore fun... I'll probably stay home and spend the entire break working on projects.. seems like there're going to be enough to bury me alive anyway. *groan*

Status: -_-
Listen: ---

I bet you'd never come down from your tower for me I'll let you take it real slow while I try to decide never would've loved you should've left this town never would've loved you, but everything got turn around -- it's nothing much but the same drug everyday it's nothing much but the same drug you throw it away but I gave love anyway-- she didn't come from the same world, see the same thing I can't deny, I bled on stage to ger here, sent scream up to the sky it's nothing much but the same drug-- she did it all the way now she's gone today I can't sleep without her...

[ Cold: Same Drug ]

Status: -_-
Listen: ---

I made a new layout for Morpheus, should be able to upload it tomorrow. I will be having dinner with my high school teacher and a few of my high school friends.. which is great! I shouldn't even mention and joke about having a date.. Chris wouldn't let it go. She probably thinks that I'm going out on a date, which I'm not. I've never look for trouble, and I'm not about to start doing that now. And there's another fact she might want to considere, but I'm not gonna say anything, not here anyway. Back to the layout.

[ X: wanting to sleep and never wake up ]

March 06, 2002

Status: just relax
Listen: ...

Well, I finally got the story 'Stardust' on my page Morpheus done. Took me a while, but I got it done! Anyway, I still have more stuff to get done, school had been demanding, but that's usual. I need to look for mylar for papermaking and also printmaking, I'll spend 2 hours between class tomorrow finish up the prints and then make changes. Hopefully, I will be able to get that done, so I can look for the stuff to do my papermaking project. *groan*

Status: tired
Listen: something on the tv

I wonder why I don't say anything at times, why I don't just say what I wanted to say to let them know exactly what they were doing and how I feel about them doing it, then I remembered why. No one cares. No one wanted to listen, no one wanted to hear what I have to say, and so I keep my mouth shut and just let them yack along, and just listening to them. Sometimes I wonder if they know how stupid they sounded to me. If they even know what they were saying. Sometimes I tuned it all out, why waste a part of my function.

[ X: exhausted... ]

March 05, 2002

Status: up from a nap

Well, I'm putting together the folder, and I have no idea what else I could add. I mean, I'm never good at keeping record for anything. I'm working out the composition in my head right now and still don't know what to do. I can ask a few questions tomorrow and probably help with that a little. I wonder if cut out mylar will do the trick... Guess Chris is not going to call as usual, well, I guess I'll just go to bed, forget about waiting, I don't have the energy anyhow. I got a bit of the Stardust written, I think 2 more scenes and I should be done with it (hopefully anyway)

Status: just reading
Listen: Deviation [ Numb ]

I don't think I did that bad in a test, but then I can never tell. I should pay more attention, but with the monotone that the prof used in class, I found myself unable to. Right now I'm just staring at the porfolio that I'm suppose to turn in tomorrow, I made notes, just not in the same place, some goes into the sketchbook, some in the folder.. now I have to put them together, or rather rewrite them. (yuck!) I need to get some samples and thoughts down too, something pretty hard for me since I always do things the last minute. I kind of have an idea of what I want to do with pulp painting, but I'm not sure.. oh well, we'll see. I want that paper shredder, damnit!

Status: in the library, getting ready...
Listen: not a thing...

Well, it was interesting little chat I had with Angie, split personality indeed. (explains a lot of things.. ) I didn't think she was Chris anyway, just from the little thing here and there throughout the conversation. (just stuff Chris wouldn't say, or I never known her to say it to me, if nothing else) But, I'm more than willing to entertain her, no wait, make that entertain us both. A bunch of questions with typical answers that they would expect from me, I had a field day with that one. Anyway, sceince exam is this afternoon, so I will be in North Campus, skimming through my notes and try to remember as much as I could. (THE SPELLING!!)

[ X: x_x ]

March 04, 2002

Status: nice and happy now
Listen: Slept So Long [ Jay Gordon ]

Well, that was one interesting short conversation (actually all the conversations I had with friend's parents are quite interesting if not down right weird) it was just too funny for her to say that she got home and found no one and that no one loves her anymore (well, she didn't actually finish that sentence but I can guess the rest) Oh yeah I took this test..


You are a very calm and contemplative person. Others are drawn to your peaceful, nurturing nature.

Find out your color at!

Status: waiting for the food
Listen: ...

Well, I spent the past 3 days looking for a new hosting for the blog, and since I couldn't find one that I actually trust with my blog, I decided to just add this to my account on angelfire. (the only annoying thing is the pop-up, though all you have to do is just leave the first one alone and the rest wouldn't load again) I had a hell of a morning, couldn't wake myself up.. and then after a while I had this massive headache that I just want to cut my head off, so I left right after my prof done with the demo. I spent several hours in bed this afternoon, now I have to skim through a bit of science

[ X: eating... ]

Status: hungry...
Listen: nothing...

moon hangs around
a blade over my head
reminds me
what to do before I'm dead
night consumes light
and all I dread
reminds me what to do before I'm dead

sun reclines, heats my mind
reminds me what to leave behind
light eats night and all I never said
reminds me what to do before I'm

to see you
to touch you

epochs fly, remind me
what I hide, reminds me
the desert skies
cracks the spines
reminds me what I never tried
the ocean wide salted red
reminds me what to do before I'm dead

to see you
to touch you
to feel you
to tell you

the sun reclines... remind me
the desert skies... remind me
the ocean wide salted red
reminds me

[ Kidneythieves/Before I'm Dead ]

March 03, 2002

Status: just writing
Listen: nothing...

Saw Jeeper Creepers today, don't like it, though I didn't think I would anyway, I only saw it because Chris said that I might like it (I think it's because of the gore... she thinks I like those, and I do, when there's a plot to accompany the gore..) I want to see Soul Survivor, but well, they didn't have it left. Guess I'll wait a few days. I got the second print done today, took long enough... I didn't have enough time to do both pulling sheets and printmaking. So I picked one. Now I'm looking for a good host for this blog, since geocities going to take out the FTP access for the free hosting. (I would get my own space, but well, short on money) So, if anyone knows some good freehost let me know? Please? Chris didn't call me today, I guess she's busy, as usual. Sometimes I wonder if this all worth it. She rarely has the time and when I call it's bad timing, which I guess it's the story of my life. Like when we met, then when we meet face to face, just a bad timing, on my part, I guess. I can never put a claim on anyone, I feel that they have the right to choose, and if their choice wasn't me, then I guess it wasn't meant to be, (point of forcing another person to be with you will be?? if I have to force them to stay with me, then there's nothing there) That is rather ironic since she practically tagged me.

[ X: with a collar and a tag that said Property of Mon Ange please return if found ]

March 02, 2002

Status: getting ready for bed
Listen: nothing much

I should be writing but... well, I just got my new classes and I'm trying to get use to them right now.. so I can't really concentrate. I'm up now because I'm well, still waiting for that phone call, though it probably end up like the past few nights, she didn't call me back. God, sometimes I wonder what the hell am I doing? I don't mind being alone really, just that I don't like being remind about that too often. She reminds me of how much I'm really alone. What is love? Is anyone out there can tell me?

[ X: tired ]

March 01, 2002

Status: just chillin'
Listen: nothing

Well, friday, I don't have classes today. (how many time do I have to explain this to my aunt?? none of my classes are schedule fucking friday!) I thought about going in to take care of the copperplate, but since I didn't know what to do with the background yet, I didn't. Guess I'm gonna go to Blockbuster and grab a movie.. Soul Suvivor came out and I'm not sure I wanna buy it so I'm gonna rent it and watch first before buying it. (if I like it, IF) Well, that's all for now.

[ X: -_- ]