I'm back, and I'm all cried-out.

I've spent the last 2 weeks with a friend of mine... someone I've known for almost 5 years, been through a lot of drama [on her side] together, the only one person I've ever felt so close to the one I've cried over, the one I'd ever imagined myself being with, except that she would never be with me, and it drive me nuts.

But now I know better. I've grown up a little, I guess.

When it rain it pours, I believe that this saying fits her well.

She had a break up from hell 3 days before my visit. So I was there to help her pick up the pieces yet again. A lot of things changed and remained the same. Still love her more than anyone, I've already resigned myself to that fact, but I don't have that illusion anymore. She said I help a lot but just being there keeping her together.... a lot happened...

And when I left this afternoon... I realized how much it hurts when I leave, especially now. She looked like lost puppy and I looked worse, and feeling even worse than I looked. I was crying. She knew this, saw it, made no comment, which was the best thing she could've done... Sometimes I think she should take her time doing things. I'm hoping the people she hangs out with, the people she calls friends would be there for her where I can't.

Right now though, I need to sleep.. and get use to that empty space beside me.. again.