Funeral, exhaustion, friends you can count on, people you wanna deck...

So, finally after over a month of agony and confusion and hopes and disappointment, and 15 days in the hospital, my father passed.

He was going to turn full 57 next month. A bit too quick, yes I know, but he hadn't been paying attention to his liver for years now. Had he done what the doctor told him to do, we might've caught it much much earlier, but what is done is done.

No use crying over spilled milk.

Anyway, he's not suffering anymore. I had a thought that maybe he was waiting for my grandmother to drop by, because the night she came to see him and she stayed with my mom and my aunt to watch him that night, he passed bright and early in the morning.

Mom called at 6:33 AM. to tell me that he's gone.

Sad, yes, but I feel better knowing he's not hurting anymore.

Now we are left to deal with a lot of things, including the mess he left behind. If my mother could, she would probably smack him around some for some of the shit he pulled.

But that aside, I'm so sick of all the people already, I can't wait for it to be over. They were all, tradition blah blah blah... I'm like, the death don't care! Everything is for the living, and they aren't even for us, the family that should be grieving, instead we have to deal with these people. More than half of these people showed up, I don't even know. But whatever.

My friends came as their respective jobs allowed, and I appreciated that. One of them came to help out since the first day, and another is coming back again tomorrow morning, she had to leave after Wed, because work needed to get done, and she's coming back again for the cremation.

They are trying to be there for me. I'm trying to figure out if I'm still in that stage that the whole thing is in suspend, because I don't have time, or I'm just all cried out since he was first diagnosed.

I'll keep myself occupied, with one thing or another, it'll pass. All the bad things will pass and I'm hoping we don't get buried neck deep in crap before it's over.