March 01, 2003

Sparring was today, apparently we don't have Wed class next week, which work out great, if, if Chris is coming. I will have to pick her up from the airport and she did say that she is coming in around 7pm. Let's just hope that she is coming, cause I will be really pissed otherwise, and then I'll have to stop talking to her cause it is becoming too much for me to handle. Oh well.. just one of those things.

When you cared about someone so much and at the same time knowing that they don't care about you at all, or they do but not enough, it just ends in you being in a world of hurt. Yeah, I am, in a world of hurt. And there was nothing I can do about it, unless I am willing to walk away. But I'm not ready, not willing. So I am stuck, like a bug in the tar, slowly sinking, and no one noticed, no one cared to notice. Until you sunk completely and disappeared.

It is a sad thought that someone you cared about so much cared not for you. And that someone loves what you can do for them and not you. They won't tell you that, but it is there to be seen and heard, just underneath all of those endearments that seem to come so easily. The worse part of all of this is that you couldn't, for the life of you, figure out why it has to be this particular person. Wish someone could tell you why, but no one knew, no one could fathom the reason.

Maybe there is absolutely no reason at all. Maybe it is just another way, another lesson you needed to learn.

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