June 01, 2003

Listening : Half-Pain [ Bana ]

Talked to my mom earlier tonight.. (not real early, but you know what I mean) and I really wanna go home. 7 years.. long enough I think and I have another one to go. God.. and people wonder why I fucking brood. I would call grandpa and talk to him except I wouldn't know what to talk to him about, beside I hate it when they start asking when I'll be going home. It's not like I don't want to, I do, I really do. But until I'm done with school, I'm not. I'm not dropping a little over $1000 to go home either.. besides I was told once by a friend that it's harder to leave the second time.. not on her, but her mom. And I can see that happened with mom and dad. I'd rather not have to drop that much money (which by the way, is theirs) and make them feel bad when I leave. I mean they won't say anything, but I hate seeing mom cry. Worst I hate leaving.

I'm getting Witch Hunter Robin on ebay. Heard good things about it, so I figure I'll give it a shot. Now I still need to pick up a few DVDs. Probably 1 at the time. I'm getting digital cam too, I think. Need one.. now that I found I have a hell of a time trying to get my stuff into portfolio and I hate to get the entire roll of film done before I can get that. Thus a lot of my stuff didn't get recorded that way.. At the moment I'm playing with the one my aunt lets me borrow.

'are you aware of what you make me feel, baby
right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real'

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