Status: Tired but awake
Listen: To Be With You [ Hoobastank ] again

Why did I feel like I was about to be blamed for something that I didn't do. I can never understand why people like to project what they were feeling onto other people, so instead of them being the one don't want to, it's you that don't want to do it. Was watching Talented Mr. Ripley, I like this movie, because in some part I do understand how he was feeling. From being a part of something, or someone's life one moment, feel like you are their bestfriend and the next they don't want you anymore. When he said at the end that he always thought it was better to be a fake somebody than a real nobody, to want to be in the sun. But instead feel like being locked in a dark room and you can cry and scream, but no one hear you and soon everyone forgets that you were there. In the book (I didn't finish the book, only read a little of it) Ripley wasn't an innocent character that got into this with just one small lie like in the movie, make him less sympathetic. In the movie however, he was caught, trapped and couldn't find his way out, the only way he knew was to make up more and more lies and finally there was absolutely deadend. I never get into that myself but I do feel like I don't belong and being excluded. Like the sun turned away and it was very cold, and all you could do is hope for the sun to turn back and shines down at you again.

Status: Pissed
Listen: Hello Again [ Hoobastank ]

I still can't find that phone number, guess I will have to write her a letter and ask. I feel bad for asking over and over again, when I should have it in the first place. I feel like banging my head against the wall for this. I have no idea where I put it, thought that I left it with my sketchbook, apparently I didn't (not that I have it with me.) I can't possibly throw it away since I'm so bad about keeping all the papers. I can just imagine my friend's face now when I wrote her a letter and asked for her number again. (What the hell is wrong with her! she would say)

[ X: pulling hair ]