Status: ---
Listen: ---

I have got to get this under control, I can't walk around feeling like I this. I tried not to think about it, but it seems futile. Helga understood, because she's been there, misery loves company. I just wish I know what is going on and not just the summed up version of the event, but I doubt I could find someone that know the whole story and still tell me. She doesn't want to talk to me, she doesn't want to tell me, and I guess there's nothing I can do about that. I miss her and she is shutting me out and that hurts. I can feel it in the pit of my stomach. I have got to stop feeling so much. Stop thinking about this. She doesn't wanna talk to me, that much is clear and I have to just back off and try to move on. That's probably the hardest part.. moving on. But I don't think I can take it anymore if she found someone else. No expectation, but it would've hurt so much... too much. Wish she would understand this, but she doesn't, she won't. Even if she does, it wouldn't matter to her. I just want it to stop. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.