Status: sticky..
Listen: Could It Be Any Harder [ The Calling ]

the question now is... how long? How long will I stay in place and endure all these shit that had been thrown my way. I said something last night that would've raise hell, well, usually it would, surprisingly it didn't. Wondered if she's been told of the conversation before hand. Maybe, I doubted it through. I was too tired to care at the time anyway. Say what you feel and don't lie about what you don't feel. Easy, right? Ri-ight. Make it clear, that should be easy, we known each other's guts for crying out loud. Though I have my moments of not caring what anyone would think at all. I can give silent treatment and make it last, and last. Big surprise? I think not. I'm just like that. Just because most people, or one in particular thinks that I'm a safe place, I would never hurt, newsflash I would, when I feel that I need to. (do it for entertainment too, but rarely, I'm a lot more sensitive than that) I miss a lot of my friends back home. If they have the money to spend they would've call me, time different make it hard, expensive phonebills make it even harder. I would've call often, but same problem. Too expensive to do it often and hard to get a hold of people when your schedule and theirs are so different. Hard enough just trying to get a hold of someone lives several states away let alone half way around the world. I still can't decide if I wanna stick around and see what will happen, or should I just safe myself by leaving now. Say goodbye and just go. And never look back. She didn't do anything yet and she said she won't, but knowing her, she'll find a way. Question will be am I worth the trouble for her to listen. I'm not going to give ultimatum, just simple statement, and I think she heard it before, though I don't know if she ever believe that I will go through with it. Can't be the doormat, won't. Too much to take, once is enough, been burned once by one person is one thing, burned twice by the same person is just down right painful and embarrassing.