Status: something inside me is broken
Listen: nothing

I just want it to stop. All of it. Either I'm a friend and whoever attracted to me will be dealt by me, or I'm a lover and then she can be jealous and pissy and possessive -- which are within her right... maybe not the possessive part, but we all feel possessive toward our partners at one time or another, feel it and act on it are different though -- it's either she's with me or she's not. Of course I can never bring this up to her, she will come up with something that will make me feel that all of this was just in my head, and maybe, just maybe I should just chalk it up to that. It's all in my head. It doesn't exist. God now I miss my karate class, I just wanna tell someone who would understand what I'm going through. Damn me to hell for getting myself into this, damn me to hell.