Status: still awake...
Listen: Only The Strong [ Flaw ]

Enough with the mute comment already. I was taught as a child to listen more than talk. I generally listen and most of the time I do not feel the need to fill the silent with useless or small talk. Unless I really don't feel comfortable with the person, I won't be filling the silent with small, random talk. I don't find silent disturbing, I find it rather nice. I'm also confused. She just threw me out cause she is going to sleep, then she came and talked about the anime for a while, then she went to bed and I settled in to read for a while before I retire for the night as well and she came in again, saying that she put LotR in and if I feel like joining her. WTF?! Then she talked about why she doesn't want me to sleep in her bed!? I did not bring this up, folks, I did not. I simply settle on the floor now when we watch movie, just easier that way since she has the tendency to throw me off her bed (she actually nudged me off the bed once and it wasn't funny when you were on the bed one minute and found yourself on your ass on the floor the next,) saying that I have no sense of personal space. Hell, so now I'm giving her the damn space by sitting on the floor instead of crowding her bed. Now she said I could've sat on the bed. I don't get it, then she said earlier this evening that she could never be in the relationship with me because I'm always depress, ok look who's talking! I hide when I depressed, I never make anyone listen to what I'm listening to, I don't talk about it. Anyway, I wanna say that I'm sure it was one of many reasons, and there is no need to bring it up. Nice way to point out that we will never be. I should've said that, but instead I said that she already pointed that out to me and there's no need to repeat it. Really! The bed thing just annoyed me to no end. X[ She made it sound as if I could never lay still, truth is, I think she just try to rationalize why I shouldn't be sleeping with her (sleeping, just sleep) in her bed. She can rationalize all she wants, but she didn't have to be explaining that to me, I didn't sleep in her bed. I'll be here for the next 2 days and that's it. I know I will be a complete mess when I get home, and it is to be expected, because I already have the experience in that. Can we say pain? Confusion, emotionally exhausted, and just downright defeated. Sorrow will be constant companion for a while, too. I'm not looking forward to this. Not at all.